Women https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/ en Coping with Depression in Pregnancy and Following the Birth https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/workbook/coping-with-depression-in-pregnancy-and-following-birth <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--page.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">Coping with Depression in Pregnancy and Following the Birth</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--page.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/account/admin_phpbb" lang="" about="/account/admin_phpbb" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">admin_phpbb</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--page.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2011-05-31T23:41:56+00:00">Tue, 05/31/2011 - 16:41</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'sharethis_block' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/sharethis/templates/sharethis-block.html.twig' --> <div class="sharethis-wrapper"> <span st_url="https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/workbook/coping-with-depression-in-pregnancy-and-following-birth" st_title="Coping with Depression in Pregnancy and Following the Birth" class="st_sharethis_button" displayText="sharethis"></span> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/sharethis/templates/sharethis-block.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--comment-node-page--page.html.twig * field--node--comment-node-page.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--comment-node-page.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/node/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="comment-section"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/node/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--page.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="content"> <div property="schema:text"><p><a name="top" id="top"></a></p> <h3>A cognitive behaviour therapy-based self-management guide for women</h3> <p class="intro">This workbook has been contributed to HeretoHelp by our partners at the BC Reproductive Mental Health Program of BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services. We highly recommend this resource for women wanting to learn self-help skills to prevent and manage depression during pregnancy and after birth. This resource includes basic information for women and their health care providers, as well as advice on getting help, making changes, and preventing relapse.</p> <table border="0" class="related_content"><tbody><tr><td> <h4>Download the workbook:</h4> <ul><li><a href="/sites/default/files/coping-with-depression-during-pregnancy-and-following-the-birth-introduction-for-health-care-providers-module-1.pdf" target="_blank">Module One</a></li> <li><a href="/sites/default/files/coping-with-depression-during-pregnancy-and-following-the-birth-information-for-women-what-is-depression-during-pregnancy-and-following-the-birth-module-2.pdf" target="_blank">Module Two</a></li> <li><a href="/sites/default/files/Coping-with-depression-during-pregnancy-and-following-the-birth-getting-help-module-3.pdf" target="_blank">Module Three</a></li> <li><a href="/sites/default/files/coping-with-depression-during-pregnancy-and-following-the-birth-module-4.pdf">Module Four</a></li> <li><a href="/sites/default/files/coping-with-depression-during-pregnancy-and-following-the-birth-maintaining-gains-and-relapse-prevention-module-5.pdf" target="_blank">Module Five</a></li> <li><a href="/sites/default/files/Coping-with-depression-during-pregnancy-and-following-the-birth-handouts-for-women-module-6.pdf" target="_blank">Module Six</a></li> <li><a href="/sites/default/files/coping-with-depression-during-pregnancy-and-following-birth-a-cognitive-behaviour-therapy-based-self-management-guide-for-women.pdf" target="_blank">Full workbook (118 pages)</a></li> </ul></td> </tr></tbody></table><h3>What you'll find in the toolkit</h3> <p>This workbook consists of six modules:</p> <p><strong>Module 1: Introduction for health care providers</strong></p> <ul><li> <p>Why this guide was created</p> </li> <li> <p>What is the BC Reproductive Mental Health Program</p> </li> <li> <p>Who is this guide for?</p> </li> <li> <p>How to use this guide</p> </li> <li> <p>We’re looking for feedback</p> </li> <li> <p>Disclaimer</p> </li> <li> <p>Acknowledgements</p> </li> </ul><p><strong>Module 2: Information for women</strong></p> <p><em>What is depression during pregnancy and following the birth?</em></p> <ul><li> <p>Learning about the symptoms of depression</p> </li> <li> <p>If I am depressed why do I feel anxious?</p> </li> <li> <p>Why some women develop depression</p> </li> <li> <p>Why some women choose not to seek help</p> </li> </ul><p><strong>Module 3: Getting help</strong></p> <p><em>a. Treatment options for women with depression during pregnancy and following the birth</em></p> <ul><li> <p>What are the treatment options for depression?</p> </li> <li> <p>How do I choose which treatment is best for me?</p> </li> <li> <p>Using Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy to treat depression</p> </li> </ul><p><em>b. Cognitive behaviour therapy for depression during pregnancy and following the birth</em></p> <ul><li> <p>The Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy model of depression</p> </li> <li> <p>Understanding the connection between different symptoms</p> </li> </ul><p><em>c. Self-care: The NEST-S program</em></p> <ul><li> <p>Nutrition</p> </li> <li> <p>Exercise</p> </li> <li> <p>Sleep</p> </li> <li> <p>Time for yourself</p> </li> <li> <p>Support</p> </li> </ul><p><strong>Module 4: Action</strong></p> <p><em>a. Making positive changes</em></p> <ul><li> <p>Goal setting</p> </li> <li> <p>Learning how to solve problems</p> </li> </ul><p><em>b. Challenging depressive thinking</em></p> <ul><li> <p>Why is it important to identify and challenge depressive thoughts?</p> </li> <li> <p>What is depressive thinking during pregnancy and following the birth of your baby?</p> </li> <li> <p>Thinking traps</p> </li> <li> <p>What is healthy thinking?</p> </li> </ul><p><strong>Module 5:  Maintaining gains and relapse prevention</strong></p> <ul><li> <p>Introduction to maintaining gains and relapse prevention</p> </li> <li> <p>Steps to success</p> </li> <li> <p>If you do experience an increase in symptoms…</p> </li> <li> <p>What to do if you become pregnant again</p> </li> </ul><p><em>Grace’s story</em></p> <ul><li> <p>One woman’s journey using this guide</p> </li> </ul><p><strong>Module 6: Handouts for women</strong></p> <ul><li> <p>Self-test for depression symptoms in pregnancy and postpartum—Edinburgh postnatal depression scale (EPDS)</p> </li> <li> <p>The Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy model of depression</p> </li> <li> <p>Goal setting worksheet</p> </li> <li> <p>Thought challenging worksheet</p> </li> <li> <p>Problem solving worksheet</p> </li> <li> <p>Tips for talking with your doctor about your symptoms</p> </li> <li> <p>What your loved ones can do to support you </p> </li> </ul><div class="callout about-callout"> <div class="top"> </div> <div class="callout-content"> <h5>BC Reproductive Mental Health Program</h5> <p>To learn more about the BC Reproductive Mental Health Program, visit their <a href="http://reproductivementalhealth.ca" target="_blank">website</a> or call 604-875-2025. This program is available to all BC residents with a referral from a physician or midwife.</p> </div> </div> <div class="divider"> </div> <h5 class="page-links">Coping with Depression in Pregnancy ©2011 | <a href="#top">Top</a> | <a href="/sites/default/files/coping-with-depression-pregnancy-postpartum.pdf" target="_blank">Full Workbook</a> | <a href="/factsheet">Find fact sheets</a></h5> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links--bulma.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> Tue, 31 May 2011 23:41:56 +0000 admin_phpbb 858 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca Can We Cork the Wine Memes for Good? https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/supporting-parents-vol17/can-we-cork-the-wine-memes-for-good <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--story.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Can We Cork the Wine Memes for Good?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--story.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/user/132770" lang="" about="/user/132770" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">steph.wilson</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--story.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 10/15/2021 - 13:03</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'layout__onecol' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x layout--onecol.html.twig x layout--onecol.html.twig * layout.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/layouts/layout_discovery/onecol/layout--onecol.html.twig' --> <div class="layout layout--onecol"> <div class="layout__region layout__region--content"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--extra-field-block--node--story--sharethis.html.twig * block--extra-field-block--node--story.html.twig * block--extra-field-block--node.html.twig * block--extra-field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-extra-field-blocknodestorysharethis clearfix"> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--field-block--node--story--body.html.twig * block--field-block--node--story.html.twig * block--field-block--node.html.twig * block--field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-field-blocknodestorybody clearfix"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--story--default.html.twig * field--node--body--story.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div><p class="author">Kristyl</p> <h5 class="reference">Reprinted from the <a href="/visions/supporting-parents-vol17">Supporting Parents</a> issue of <em>Visions Journal</em>, 2021, 17 (1), pp. 20-21</h5> <p><img alt="photo of author Kristyl Clark" src="/sites/default/files/2021-10/visions-vol17-no1-can-we-cork.jpg" /></p> <p>Can I confess something to you? I'm so tired of wine mom memes. You know the ones, where a static photo of a boozy mom gets the meme treatment with text overlay saying "Mommy's Little Helper," or a woman holding a massive glass the size of her head quips: "Just one glass a day keeps the doctor away." As a society, I feel like these memes have set us back 50 years.</p> <p>In the 1960s, Valium, a drug predominantly prescribed by men to manage women's anxiety, was the original Mother's Little Helper. Valium (generic name: diazepam) may be much less of a social phenomenon these days, but Mommy still has a special helper, and it can be just as addictive and harmful.</p> <p>If you love your wine, this is by no means a judgement on you. You do you! But in my case, one glass usually leads to:</p> <ul><li> <p>drinking the entire bottle</p> </li> <li> <p>husband having to hide alcohol from me in the basement (at first, I thought he was the one with the problem)</p> </li> <li> <p>making reckless decisions</p> </li> <li> <p>harming my mental and physical health, including horrendous hangovers</p> </li> <li> <p>being a crappy mom, human, wife or friend</p> </li> <li> <p>hating myself</p> </li> </ul><p>I know I can't be the only one. Caring for your baby, toddler or child can be really stressful. Trust me, I know. I had two babies in under two years, so I was always feeling depleted and overwhelmed.</p> <p>The truth is, I adored my wine, a.k.a. "mommy juice," a little more than I should have. I would gladly drink it from a box. I enjoyed it while wearing polka-dot socks. Pinot, Chard or Merlot? It can be hard to say no. A glass of white pairs well with cheese, especially cheesy reality TV shows like the <em>Real Housewives of Orange County</em>, but also goes hand in hand with baby showers, girls' nights, date nights, camping, baseball games, picnics, playdates and Netflix. As you can see, this Valley mom was in quite the fix.</p> <p>It was shortly after I stopped nursing my youngest, Zoe, that wine went from recreational activity to alarming nightly habit. My husband Jason was working a string of late shifts while we rented the top floor of a house on a secluded street. It felt like I was on a deserted island with a baby and toddler. I'd finally get my girls to sleep around 7:00 p.m., then watch all the lights on our street go out like clockwork.</p> <p>I felt so alone, so stuck and bored out of my mind. Wine offered a cheap, tasty solution. Once Zoe was sound asleep in her milk coma, out came mommy's own soothing bottle. All my worries and stress from the day—toddler meltdowns, a teething baby and mounding debt—dissipated with every delicious sip. Four years later and 10 pounds heavier, this occasional party for one began to blend into my own bedtime routine.</p> <p>Pretending to be a "normal drinker" was a piece of cake, until it wasn't. It was just one day after returning from a couples' trip to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico that I keeled over in pain on our kitchen floor. The spasms started in my stomach and radiated in waves to my back like labour contractions. My doctor shook his head the next day when I admitted how much alcohol I had consumed during our vacation. Alcoholic gastritis was his diagnosis.</p> <p>"Does that mean I'm an alcoholic?" I asked, turning fifty shades of red, masking my nervousness with a forced laugh. He alleviated my concern by letting me know this was common after a week of overindulgence but to lay off the sauce and spicy food for a good 30+ days. Yet, that very night, I recklessly poured myself a generous glass of wine, wincing as each sip felt like hot lava burning a hole in my esophagus. For the first time, I started to feel scared.</p> <p>Still...I had never driven drunk, had never been to jail and was able to run a thriving freelance side hustle. My family was intact. My resolve would slowly dissolve when I compared myself to people who seemed worse off than me, making me forget the lines I did cross, like being hungover every single damn weekend for four years straight, and my 5:00 p.m. glass of wine becoming a 4:00 p.m. glass, until I thought, eff it, 3:30pm is just a half an hour earlier, right? I was constantly foggy-headed, irritable, restless, discontent, anxious and sad, but I didn't have an alcohol issue...right?</p> <p>Oddly, nobody noticed my non-issue. Or if they did, they gave me a break. After all, us moms are encouraged to seek solace in wine. It's how friendships are formed at the playground. It's how moms can escape without having to leave their house. It's how many mothers claim to survive parenthood "just one sip at a time." Yet, it's also how families are destroyed, lives lost, souls crushed and life's special little moments, like an extra snuggle or conversation, are forgotten or missed altogether.</p> <p>I was a walking, talking wine mom meme.</p> <p>It took me a while to recognize that I had a problem and reach out for help. Looking back, I was terrified of being viewed as a bad mom. Turns out, speaking up is how I found a tribe of incredibly inspiring, sober, badass women in a recovery program. I dreaded walking through the doors of that dimly lit church basement, which smelled of bad coffee, in case someone recognized and judged me. But I quickly discovered I had found my herd.</p> <p>Turns out, the majority of the women I met there are also moms with a strikingly similar story to my own. Some hit harder bottoms and lost their homes, jobs, marriages, custody or more, but the feeling of helplessness, of being a bad mom, was the same. The opposite of addiction is connection, and these moms helped heal that hole in my soul that I had been trying to fill with Chardonnay.</p> <p>We're constantly being told to "drink up," then to "shut up" when things get out of control. Well, I'm done staying silent. There's a good chance you have a mom or two on your friend list who is genuinely struggling to keep it together. So before you "like" or share that next wine meme, remember: with each re-post, you're actively supporting a reckless marketing tactic that trivializes women, moms, mental health and addiction.</p> <div class="callout about-callout"> <div class="callout-content"> <h5>About the author</h5> <p>Kristyl is a former Black Press Media reporter and contributor, and founder of the award-winning family blog <a href="http://ValleyMom.ca">ValleyMom.ca</a>. In addition to highlighting her family's adventures around the Fraser Valley, she writes candidly about mental health and addiction. Follow her on Facebook <a href="http://www.facebook.com/shesavalleymom/">@shesavalleymom</a>, on Instagram at <a href="https://www.instagram.com/valleymom.ca/">@ValleyMom.ca</a> and through her blog, <a href="http://ValleyMom.ca">valleymom.ca</a></p> </div> </div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/layouts/layout_discovery/onecol/layout--onecol.html.twig' --> Fri, 15 Oct 2021 20:03:55 +0000 steph.wilson 8739 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca Navigating Motherhood https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/supporting-parents-vol17/navigating-motherhood <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--story.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Navigating Motherhood</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--story.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/user/132770" lang="" about="/user/132770" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">steph.wilson</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--story.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Fri, 10/15/2021 - 12:44</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'layout__onecol' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x layout--onecol.html.twig x layout--onecol.html.twig * layout.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/layouts/layout_discovery/onecol/layout--onecol.html.twig' --> <div class="layout layout--onecol"> <div class="layout__region layout__region--content"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--extra-field-block--node--story--sharethis.html.twig * block--extra-field-block--node--story.html.twig * block--extra-field-block--node.html.twig * block--extra-field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-extra-field-blocknodestorysharethis clearfix"> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--field-block--node--story--body.html.twig * block--field-block--node--story.html.twig * block--field-block--node.html.twig * block--field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-field-blocknodestorybody clearfix"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--story--default.html.twig * field--node--body--story.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div><h3>Where is the instruction manual?</h3> <p class="author">Melissa Medjuck, MSW, RSW</p> <h5 class="reference">Reprinted from the <a href="/visions/supporting-parents-vol17">Supporting Parents</a> issue of <em>Visions Journal</em>, 2021, 17 (1), pp. 14-16</h5> <p><img alt="photo of writer Melissa Medjuck" src="/sites/default/files/2021-10/visions-vol17-no1-navigating-motherhood.jpg" /></p> <p>Before I gave birth to twins three years ago, my partner and I discussed a lot of topics: strollers, baby names, birth plan. We felt prepared...and we were. Just not in the areas that counted the most. As a new mom<sup>1</sup> I struggled. Despite my privilege and being well supported, I felt anxious and overwhelmed. I had an acute sense of loss of self. I wondered why no one had told me how hard it would be: did I miss out on some magical instruction manual others had read?</p> <p>Parenthood can be a tough transition for many reasons. We have unrealistic expectations about what our experience will be like, and this can lead to feelings of shame and self-judgement. We internalize society's beliefs about motherhood as effortless and intuitive, while taboos against expressing negative feelings about motherhood lead to isolation. Mental health stigma reduces disclosure. Ultimately, our system does a poor job of supporting new parents.</p> <p>In hindsight, I wish my partner and I had discussed issues related to parental mental health, like how to:</p> <ul><li> <p>assess and talk about my mental health as a mother</p> </li> <li> <p>budget for mental health and postpartum doula support</p> </li> <li> <p>define and support one another's ideas of self-care</p> </li> <li> <p>support me when my perfectionist tendencies might not best serve me</p> </li> <li> <p>identify words of affirmation for times of struggle</p> </li> <li> <p>list parental duties and determine how to share them</p> </li> </ul><p>It's never too late to start these discussions—whether it's just before another baby arrives or months and years in.</p> <p>In my case, early motherhood left me feeling like a failure. I know I am not alone. As a maternal mental health therapist, I speak to moms every day who feel like they are failing. All new parents worry. Sometimes this worry can escalate into anxiety, including scary and intrusive thoughts, which over half of new moms report having.<sup>2</sup> Many are experiencing what is called "perinatal" anxiety and depression, which often starts in pregnancy or begins any time during the first year postpartum and can last for years if untreated. Perinatal anxiety and mood disorders are influenced by a mix of genetics, biology, stress, environment, systemic inequalities and social determinants of health—not personality flaws.</p> <p>Parents are not regularly screened for perinatal mental illness, a concerning reality given that a recent Canadian study revealed that levels of postpartum depression have almost doubled during the pandemic, with 35% of mothers reporting symptoms of depression compared to 19% pre-pandemic.<sup>3</sup> Postpartum anxiety rates are even higher: over 72% of moms experience postpartum anxiety, and this number has almost tripled since the pandemic started.<sup>4</sup> Fathers, nonbirthing partners and adoptive parents are also at risk for perinatal anxiety and depression. One of the greatest predictors of fathers' and non-birthing partners' perinatal mental health is having a partner with perinatal depression and anxiety.<sup>5</sup></p> <p>Postpartum care should be an ongoing process, with holistic, affordable and accessible support tailored to each new parent's needs, rather than a single encounter at a six-week checkup. This support should include programs for specific groups, such as Indigenous, immigrant and non-Indigenous Canadian-born people. Perinatal mental health counselling should be free and offered to all parents and parents-to-be.</p> <p>And while we advocate for systemic change, here are some strategies to help you navigate motherhood:</p> <ul><li> <p>acknowledge and validate your feelings: "This is hard. It makes sense that I feel this way"</p> </li> <li> <p>engage in self-compassion; talk to yourself like you would to a friend</p> </li> <li> <p>examine perfectionist tendencies and consider where you can lower your expectations</p> </li> <li> <p>value your work as a mom, give yourself praise and notice what you're doing well</p> </li> <li> <p>try relaxation and mindfulness practices to reduce anxiety (and limit your time on social media and Google if they're not serving you!)</p> </li> <li> <p>develop realistic self-care goals, including activities you can do with your child present</p> </li> <li> <p>move your body, eat nutritious food and give yourself permission to rest</p> </li> <li> <p>connect with family, friends and moms who "get you"</p> </li> <li> <p>if you have a partner, discuss the invisible load that the default caregiver carries and try a weekly partner check-in</p> </li> <li> <p>explore supports groups and self-help programs</p> </li> <li> <p>talk to a maternal mental health therapist or your health care provider about how you're feeling</p> </li> </ul><p>How we support new parents needs to shift, as do the cultural narratives of parenthood being joyful and easy; our avoidance of sharing parenting challenges; and the stigma surrounding and devaluation of perinatal mental health. Venturing down this unchartered emotional road requires a village to march along with you. Isolation and lack of support are leading causes of perinatal mood disorders, which is why I believe that receiving support is essential. It certainly was for me—my decision to see a maternal mental health therapist was a turning point in my motherhood journey.</p> <p>I hope if you are a new parent reading this, you know you are not alone in your struggles, you are not to blame and it's okay to ask for help.</p> <h4>Guides and resources</h4> <p>Current toxic cultural narratives around motherhood cause us to internalize unrealistic expectations about what our experience "should" be like. I wish I had examined my assumptions about motherhood because, in many cases, I discovered very different realities.</p> <table><tbody><tr><td> <h6>Assumption</h6> </td> <td> <h6>Discovery</h6> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>I will fall instantly in love with my baby.</p> </td> <td> <p>I am still a good mom if it takes me time to connect with my baby.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Motherhood will make me feel whole and happy.</p> </td> <td> <p>Other parts of my identity still matter, and moms undergo a challenging identity transformation; loneliness, anger and resentment are common feelings moms experience.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Having a baby will bring my partner and I closer together.</p> </td> <td> <p>Partner conflict is common post-baby. Engaging in daily check-ins, expressing appreciation, responding to requests for connection and using assertive communication are useful.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>My instincts will naturally tell me what to do.</p> </td> <td> <p>Parenting involves learning a new skill set and managing a mental load; there isn't one "right" way to parent.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>I will always want to put my child first.</p> </td> <td> <p>My needs are important, my well-being affects my family and putting myself on my to-do list is essential.</p> </td> </tr></tbody></table><h5>Related resources</h5> <h6>Organizations</h6> <ul><li> <p>Pacific Post Partum Support Society (<a href="http://postpartum.org">postpartum.org</a>) provides free or low-cost programs for mothers in BC experiencing a difficult pregnancy or postpartum adjustment, including telephone support, weekly support groups and support for partners</p> </li> <li> <p>Postpartum Support International (<a href="http://postpartum.net">postpartum.net</a>) provides a helpline and free online support groups. Visit <a href="http://postpartum.net/get-help/providerdirectory">postpartum.net/get-help/provider-directory</a> for their Online Provider Directory</p> </li> </ul><h6>Tools</h6> <ul><li> <p>For help with intense emotions, see the guide Coping with Depression in Pregnancy and Following Birth, at: <a href="https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/workbook/coping-with-depression-in-pregnancy-and-following-birth">heretohelp.bc.ca/workbook/coping-with-depression-in-pregnancy-and-following-birth</a></p> </li> <li> <p>For information on self-compassion, visit: <a href="http://self-compassion.org">self-compassion.org</a></p> </li> <li> <p>For a social network connecting women across fertility and motherhood, consider Peanut, available at: <a href="http://peanut-app.io">peanut-app.io</a></p> </li> <li> <p>For more on assertive communication, visit: <a href="http://psychologytools.com/&#10;resource/assertive-communication">psychologytools.com/resource/assertive-communication</a> and <a href="http://gottman.com/blog/weekend-homework-&#10;assignment-tips-for-asserting-yourself">gottman.com/blog/weekend-homework- assignment-tips-for-asserting-yourself</a></p> </li> <li> <p>For more on partner check-ins, visit: <a href="http://gottman.com/blog/how-to-have-a-state-of-the-union-meeting">gottman.com/blog/how-to-have-a-state-of-the-union-meeting</a></p> </li> </ul><div class="callout about-callout"> <div class="callout-content"> <h5>About the author</h5> <p>Melissa Medjuck (she/her) (<a href="http://melissamedjuck.com">melissamedjuck.com</a>) is a registered social worker, certified birth doula, yoga teacher and mom to twins. As a maternal mental health therapist, she offers video counselling services to BC residents. As a doula, she offers support to families living in Vancouver and surrounding areas</p> </div> </div> <div class="footnotes"> <h6>Footnotes:</h6> <ol><li>I recognize that some people who experience pregnancy, birth and parenting do not identify as a mother and that not everyone who experiences pregnancy, birth and parenting identifies as a cisgender woman.</li> <li>Collardeau, F., Corbyn, B., Abramowitz, J., Janssen, P.A., Woody, S. &amp; Fairbrother, N. (2019). Maternal unwanted and intrusive thoughts of infant-related harm, obsessive-compulsive disorder and depression in the perinatal period: Study protocol. <em>BMC Psychiatry</em>, <em>19</em>(1).</li> <li>Racine, N., Hetherington, E., McArthur, B.A., McDonald, S., Edwards, S., Tough, S. &amp; Madigan, S. (2021). Maternal depressive and anxiety symptoms before and during the COVID-19 pandemic in Canada: A longitudinal analysis. <em>Lancet Psychiatry</em>, <em>8</em>(5), 405–415.</li> <li>Davenport, M.H., Meyer, S., Meah, V.L., Strynadka, M.C. &amp; Khurana, R. (2020). Moms are not OK: Covid-19 and maternal mental health. <em>Frontiers in Global Women's Health</em>, <em>1</em>(1).</li> <li>Letourneau, N., Duffett-Leger, L., Dennis, C., Stewart, M. &amp; Tryphonopoulos, P.D. (2011). Identifying the support needs of fathers affected by post-partum depression: A pilot study. <em>Journal of Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing</em>, <em>18</em>(1), 41–47.</li> </ol></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/layouts/layout_discovery/onecol/layout--onecol.html.twig' --> Fri, 15 Oct 2021 19:44:17 +0000 steph.wilson 8737 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca New Moms: Feeling anxious? https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/infosheet/new-moms-feeling-anxious <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>New Moms: Feeling anxious?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/account/shainul" lang="" about="/account/shainul" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">admin_ionline</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 06/25/2019 - 20:35</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--infosheet.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div><p>  <a name="top" title="top" id="top"></a><a href="/self-help-resources">More Info Sheets</a></p> <p class="author">Author: Anxiety Canada</p> <p> </p> <p class="intro">Are you pregnant or a new mom? Have you been feeling worried or anxious? If so, this website can help. We (the writers) are four mothers with a total of eight children between us. Like most mothers, each of us struggled with worries during our pregnancies, and certainly during that roller-coaster first year with a newborn (and for one of us, newborn twins!).</p> <table border="0" class="related_content"><tbody><tr><td> <h4>On this page:</h4> <ul><li><a href="#stories">Personal stories: Salima, Jennifer, and Ellen</a></li> <li><a href="#recognize">Recognizing postpartum anxiety</a></li> <li><a href="#depression">Postpartum anxiety and depression</a></li> <li><a href="#howmuch">How much anxiety is too much?</a></li> <li><a href="#redzone">Is your anxiety reaching the red zone?</a></li> <li><a href="#extrahelp">Extra help for specific types of anxiety</a></li> </ul></td> </tr></tbody></table><p>As mental health professionals, we knew about many web-based resources that help women with postpartum depression, but wondered why there weren’t more resources on how to effectively manage anxiety during pregnancy and the postpartum period. After all, anxiety and worries are so common during this time.</p> <p>Your life is really busy—so we wanted to create a resource that is easy to navigate. If you are not sure where to start, take a look at the Feeling Anxious? section to get a sense of the different ways anxiety can show up for new moms (and see if you can relate). Then you may want to read through the Taking Care section and see how you are doing with self-care. Are there one or two small changes you can regularly incorporate into your day? Next you may want to look at the Flexible Thinking section - there may be some ideas you want to try out. You can then move onto the Facing Fears section, which introduces you to strategies that many have found to be very effective. Take your time through this section, and it can be helpful to find someone to support and encourage you through the steps. Finally, if you are a family member or friend of a new mom who is dealing with anxiety, you may be interested in the For Family section and see what family and friends can do to help.</p> <p>We recommend taking it slow and trying one thing at a time for at least a few weeks. Some strategies take repeated practice, and don’t really “kick in” for a little while. You need to find what works for YOU.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="stories" id="stories"></a>Personal stories: Salima, Jennifer, and Ellen</h3> <h5>Salima</h5> <p><a name="salima" id="salima"></a>Salima is a single mom with a three-month-old son, Arman. Salima experienced a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy and was relieved when she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The first month was a big adjustment for Salima, but overall things were going as well as she could hope. She was finally getting into a routine with feeding but Arman wasn’t sleeping for long stretches and Salima was exhausted.</p> <p>About four weeks after Arman was born, Salima unexpectedly started to experience unexplained periods of dizziness. It felt like the room was spinning and things were unreal or dreamlike. She would have to sit or lie down until the sensation passed. Also, out of the blue, her heart would suddenly feel like it was racing. She would feel jittery and nervous, like she had too much caffeine. These sensations were especially likely to happen if she had been worrying about something for a long time. Salima completely lost her appetite and only felt like eating a few items like green apples and toast. Salima’s doctor asked if she was feeling depressed but she thought the symptoms didn’t quite fit. She wondered if her physical and mental changes were due to hormonal changes and lack of sleep.</p> <p>During this period, Salima began to read and re-read parenting books on newborn health and sleep habits, hoping to find answers to Arman’s sleeping problem. She started to realize that parenting books are a double-edged sword for her. Instead of being helpful, the books made her feel as if she was doing everything wrong because Arman wasn’t responding. Their glowing anecdotes made it sound as if he would if she just followed their instructions on sleeping, feeding, and schedules. Salima started to distrust her own instincts. She began to constantly and repeatedly ask others for advice.</p> <p>Usually a very outgoing and social person, Salima began to isolate herself at home with the baby. Timing errands between naps became more and more stressful, so she started to avoid going out unless it was absolutely necessary. Salima was able to get groceries and other necessities delivered to her apartment. This, however, has started to make her feel like a prisoner in her own home. She also worried about taking Arman out in public in case he started crying and she couldn’t calm him down. She wondering if her life would always be like this, never feeling like she could take a leisurely trip to the bookstore or coffee shop. She wondered if she would always be a slave to this new life. She found herself missing her old life and then felt guilty about thinking this way.</p> <p>On the rare occasion she pushes herself to go outside for a short walk, worries pop up about Arman’s safety, like whether he is too cold, or whether a car might drive off the road and onto the sidewalk, or whether someone would grab him and run. She has stopped watching the news on television because it would create more new worries.</p> <p>Most of the time Salima is too wound up to relax and enjoy her son. She feels extremely guilty and is worried that she won’t be the happy, secure mother that Arman deserves. Salima feels crazy with worry most of the time and is increasingly overwhelmed about her new role as a single mother. She says to herself, "How am I going to do this for the next week, much less the next 18 years?"</p> <h5>Jennifer</h5> <p><a name="jennifer" id="jennifer"></a>Jennifer is a young mother with an 8-month-old daughter, Maya. During her pregnancy she felt very protective of her unborn baby and was terrified of having a miscarriage like her sister. For the whole nine months, Jennifer would frequently go to the bathroom to make sure she was not bleeding. She would hold her breath around any chemicals and move on a bus if someone wearing perfume sat beside her. She switched to only natural products and cleansers at home, and brought her own bedsheets and cleaning products when staying at her parents’ house.</p> <p>For the first few months Jennifer would check at least 10 times a night that Maya was breathing, despite having two monitors on in the baby’s room. Seeing how anxious Jennifer was, her husband offered to check on the baby instead, but Jennifer did not trust him to do it right and would refuse.</p> <p>When Maya was two months old, Jennifer had a terrible dream that she was cutting up carrots in the kitchen and then turned towards Maya with the knife. Jennifer woke up covered in sweat and ran to hold sleeping Maya. Shaking and crying from the intensity of the dream, she wondered why she would have such terrible thoughts and if they meant that she could actually hurt Maya in real life.</p> <p>From that moment on, things got a lot worse for Jennifer and her family. Jennifer became petrified that she would sleepwalk and stab Maya in her sleep. Every night before she went to bed, she put a gate across the kitchen door. She also put all the knives under a pile of plates so the noise would wake her up if she went looking for a knife in her sleep.</p> <p>Jennifer has become afraid of being left alone with her daughter. On bad days, she begs her husband not to leave the house. She is terrified of giving her daughter a bath, afraid that she might snap and drown Maya. When she is really upset, she finds that if she sits in a certain chair in the living room and says a prayer perfectly 10 times she feels better. However, this ritual is taking up more and more time, and now she is doing this about a dozen times a day. She also feels constant nausea and a tightness around her throat and chest.</p> <p>Jennifer’s husband is trying to be understanding but he’s getting tired of her obsessing and strange rituals. Sometimes she just wants to run away and leave her family forever. At least then she knows her thoughts would never come true.</p> <h5>Ellen</h5> <p><a name="ellen" id="ellen"></a>Ellen, a 37-year-old mother with a 5-year-old daughter, lives with her boyfriend. Two months ago she gave birth to their son, Kieran.</p> <p>For the first 12 hours of labour, Ellen progressed well. Then her doctor discovered that the baby’s heart rate had excessively dropped and was not recovering. The medical team was concerned that the umbilical chord might be wrapped around her baby’s neck. Ellen was quickly wheeled into the operating room for an emergency C-section. The staff moved quickly around her, but did not look at her or tell her what was happening. During this whole ordeal, she was panicking and trembling uncontrollably. She felt out of control and frantic with worry about her baby. Everything was happening so fast. Ellen had always been terrified of having a C-section. She thought that she or the baby was going to die.</p> <p>Ellen and Kieran stayed in the hospital for five days, recovering. Eventually they were both allowed to return home. For the first few weeks Ellen felt strangely numb and calm. Then, out of the blue, she started to have flashbacks of being wheeled into the operating room. Several times a day she relived her experience of labour, going over every detail in her head again and again. What went wrong? What did she do wrong? How could it have been different?</p> <p>She would also have nightmares about her birth experience and wake up drenched in sweat with a racing heart. One minute Ellen would feel panicked and frightened, and the next minute she felt such intense rage that she would verbally snap at whoever was close by. Her relationships with her boyfriend and daughter were suffering.</p> <p>Now, certain words and images trigger her. Whenever she hears an ambulance her heart races, she has difficulty breathing, and she becomes teary. Once she tried driving past the hospital, but she started shaking so much that she had to pull over. She also avoids watching any TV shows about birth and new moms. She stopped reading, which she used to enjoy doing a lot, because she can’t seem to focus on anything anymore. The hardest part for Ellen, however, is that instead of feeling positive and loving toward Kieran, she feels numb. She just wants to feel like herself again.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="recognize" id="recognize"></a>Recognizing postpartum anxiety</h3> <p>"It’s like I have all this nervous energy; I can’t slow down or turn my brain off. Like my adrenaline is pumping all the time. When I look at my baby, instead of feeling lovey-dovey, I feel my throat and chest clench. What is wrong with me?" –Jennifer</p> <p>"I am so nervous all the time, I feel so out of control with worries. I don’t even want to leave the house and bump into anyone I know. If I go out I worry about Arman starting to cry—what if I can’t console him, and everyone stares at me and thinks I am a terrible mother?" –Salima</p> <p>Having a newborn at home is a time of emotional upheaval, even under the best circumstances. Whether it’s a woman’s first venture into motherhood or her fourth, anxiety is a common feeling during this time. However, for some women, anxiety can start to build gradually and interfere with her ability to enjoy and take care of her new baby – and herself. Unfortunately, even medical care providers can miss the signs of prolonged postpartum anxiety, sometimes mislabeling it as postpartum depression or attributing it to all the sudden life changes. Many people don’t know that it’s possible to have an anxiety disorder and depression at the same time.</p> <p>A moderate amount of new fears and worries is normal and expected during this time of change. If you are experiencing quite a bit of anxiety, it can be helpful to first learn more about what anxiety is, and how it can show up for new moms.</p> <h5>What is anxiety?</h5> <p>Anxiety is a natural, adaptive response we experience when we feel unsafe or threatened. We perceive many kinds of "threats;" some can be specific and real (e.g., being followed down a dark alley). Some feel more vague, like a general sense that something "bad" will happen. We may also have an anxious response to a threat we are imagining in our heads, like picturing a loved one getting into an accident.</p> <h5>We can experience anxiety in these areas:</h5> <ul><li> <p><strong>In our bodies</strong> (increased heart rate, sore stomach, tight chest and throat, shallow breathing, loss of appetite, difficulty falling or staying asleep, etc.)</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>In our mind</strong> (racing thoughts about the future; imagining the worst-case scenario; ruminating; worrying and obsessing, etc.)</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>In our actions or behaviours</strong> (avoiding certain situations, activities, places, or people; over-controlling; asking others for constant reassurance; checking things repeatedly; being extra careful and vigilant of danger, etc.)</p> </li> </ul><h5>Other possible signs of anxiety during the postpartum period:</h5> <ul><li> <p>loss of appetite</p> </li> <li> <p>difficulty sleeping</p> </li> <li> <p>irritability</p> </li> <li> <p>muscle tension (grinding teeth, neck and shoulder pain, back pain, muscle twitching)</p> </li> <li> <p>difficulty concentrating and focusing</p> </li> <li> <p>forgetfulness</p> </li> </ul><p>For more information on anxiety, see <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/what-is-anxiety/">What is Anxiety?</a>.</p> <h5>Everyone experiences anxiety differently</h5> <p><a href="#salima">Salima</a> experiences anxiety in her <strong>body</strong> as dizziness, feeling jittery, and suddenly feeling her heart racing. Some of her anxiety-producing <strong>thoughts</strong> include "What if I go out and Arman starts crying hysterically and I can’t calm him down" and "What if someone grabs him?" As a result, her <strong>behaviours</strong> include constantly asking for repeated and excessive reassurance from friends and care providers, obsessively reading and re-reading parenting books and blogs for hours, and avoiding going outside.</p> <p><a href="#jennifer">Jennifer</a> experiences her anxious <strong>thoughts</strong> as repeated and intrusive obsessions about harm coming to her baby. Her anxious and compulsive <strong>behaviours</strong> include checking in on her baby over and over through the night, and repeating prayers to "prevent" something bad from happening. In her <strong>body</strong>, she experiences anxiety as a constant tightness in her throat and chest. She also feels nauseous. Jennifer's obsessions and compulsions slowly started to consume more and more of her energy and time and caused her significant distress.</p> <p>After a traumatic birth experience, <a href="#ellen">Ellen's</a> anxious <strong>thoughts</strong> involve extremely frightening flashbacks of the birth, and nightmares. She repeatedly replays her experience of the birth over and over, tormented by what could have been. She also experiences panic attacks, especially when triggered by something that reminds her of her experience (such as hearing an ambulance). She experiences this in her <strong>body</strong> as a wave of anxiety coming over her, teariness, a racing heart, and difficulty catching her breath. Her <strong>behaviours</strong> include avoiding going near the hospital and avoiding watching certain TV shows.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="depression" id="depression"></a>Postpartum anxiety and depression</h3> <p>Many new moms develop sufficient ways to cope with fluctuating levels of anxiety over this time. However, some continue to struggle and become debilitated by chronic anxiety, which can contribute to the development of postpartum depression.</p> <p>For more information on depression during pregnancy and after the birth of a child, see the BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services guide, <a href="http://www.cw.bc.ca/library/pdf/bcrmh_anxietyguide_final.pdf">Coping with Depression During Pregnancy and Following the Birth</a>.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="howmuch" id="howmuch"></a>How much anxiety is too much?</h3> <p>Ask yourself the following questions to help gauge whether your anxiety is reasonable or too much:</p> <ul><li> <p>How long have I been experiencing this high level of anxiety?</p> </li> <li> <p>How much is it upsetting to me or causing me distress?</p> </li> <li> <p>Is it starting to interfere with my daily life?</p> </li> <li> <p>Do others in my life think I am too anxious?</p> </li> <li> <p>Is my anxiety negatively affecting my relationships?</p> </li> <li> <p>Is my anxiety negatively affecting my enjoyment of my baby?</p> </li> </ul><h5>Remember that some anxiety is normal and to be expected</h5> <p>It is also normal for anxiety levels to wax and wane over your life. This is true during the postpartum period as well. Some days or even weeks you may feel more anxious than others. Then something shifts and you feel better again. For example, your baby slowly loses weight for a week and you worry. You worry about ever getting a good night's sleep again. You worry whether your relationship with your husband or partner will ever get back on track. Then things slowly get better (of you get a good night's sleep!) and you feel more energetic and calm. Hey, maybe I can handle this, you think to yourself. Then your baby gets the flu and you worry again. This is the roller-coaster ride of early motherhood.</p> <h5>For some, normal levels of anxiety can escalate and turn into an anxiety disorder.</h5> <p>An anxiety disorder is when the anxiety is severe enough to interfere with your daily life at home and/or at work over a longer period of time. It feels like incapacitating fear.</p> <p>For example, some women (like <a href="#salima">Salima</a>) begin to feel terrified of even leaving the house. Some may begin to experience frequent panic attacks and avoid certain places. Others (like <a href="#jennifer">Jennifer</a>) may spend hours obsessively washing or checking things, or feel completely exhausted by constant worries. Or some (like <a href="#ellen">Ellen</a>) have a very frightening experience during their baby’s birth and experience nightmares and frequent flashbacks, and just don’t feel like themselves.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="redzone" id="redzone"></a>Is your anxiety reaching the red zone?</h3> <p>This chart can help you decide whether you have high levels of anxiety (the "Red Zone"). If you find that you are mostly in the green zone, you can still benefit from learning about the tools to manage anxiety on this website, as they are also great for general stress management.</p> <p>Everyone can benefit from these tools at some time, now or in the future.</p> <table><tbody><tr><td> <p><strong>Green zone</strong></p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Yellow zone</strong></p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Red zone</strong></p> </td> </tr><tr><td style="background-color:#E5F2E5"> <ul><li> <p>Spending some time buying books and reading about newborn care</p> </li> <li> <p>Chatting on online forums</p> </li> <li> <p>Some occasional concerns and calling health care providers for reassurance</p> </li> </ul></td> <td style="background-color:#FFFFB2"> <ul><li> <p>Spending an increasing amount of time checking the baby’s body, breathing, and behaviour for any signs of irregularity</p> </li> <li> <p>Researching possible things that could go wrong</p> </li> <li> <p>Regularly worrying about problems with the baby</p> </li> <li> <p>Having some difficulty stopping the Internet searches</p> </li> <li> <p>Regularly calling health care providers for reassurance</p> </li> </ul></td> <td style="background-color:#FFE5E5"> <ul><li> <p>Spending an hour or more a day checking the baby and researching possible things that could go wrong with the baby</p> </li> <li> <p>Having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep because of worries and anxiety</p> </li> <li> <p>Noticeable difficulty with carrying out daily routines or getting along with loved ones</p> </li> <li> <p>Seeking constant reassurance from loved ones and health care providers</p> </li> <li> <p>Feeling tense and on edge</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr><tr><td style="background-color:#E5F2E5"> <ul><li> <p>Feeling a little increased anxiety when travelling far from home, either alone or with your baby</p> </li> </ul></td> <td style="background-color:#FFFFB2"> <ul><li> <p>Occasionally feeling panicky when walking alone with your baby and worrying about having a panic attack</p> </li> <li> <p>Preferring to travel with someone else if possible</p> </li> <li> <p>Strong desire to stay at home with baby</p> </li> </ul></td> <td style="background-color:#FFE5E5"> <ul><li> <p>Experiencing frequent panic attacks</p> </li> <li> <p>Constant worries about having another attack and the possible consequences of the attack (fainting in public, having a heart attack)</p> </li> <li> <p>Avoiding places, activities, or situations that may bring on an attack</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr><tr><td style="background-color:#E5F2E5"> <ul><li> <p>Being a bit more careful about food, diet, and exposure to chemicals</p> </li> <li> <p>Avoiding touching things in places where there may be a lot of germs (such as a doctor’s waiting room)</p> </li> <li> <p>Washing hands a bit more frequently</p> </li> </ul></td> <td style="background-color:#FFFFB2"> <ul><li> <p>Being very vigilant about chemicals and diet</p> </li> <li> <p>Not eating out because you are unsure of food safety in restaurants</p> </li> <li> <p>Throwing out most or all of old cleaning and cosmetic products</p> </li> </ul></td> <td style="background-color:#FFE5E5"> <ul><li> <p>Intrusive and constant fears that germs may come in contact with your baby</p> </li> <li> <p>Wearing gloves out of the house</p> </li> <li> <p>Not shaking hands with others</p> </li> <li> <p>Spending an hour or more a day scrubbing hands</p> </li> <li> <p>Constantly disinfecting</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr><tr><td style="background-color:#E5F2E5"> <ul><li> <p>Concerns about whether or not you are a good mom</p> </li> <li> <p>Reading a few parenting books</p> </li> </ul></td> <td style="background-color:#FFFFB2"> <ul><li> <p>Frequent worries about what others will think of your parenting abilities</p> </li> <li> <p>Some self-doubt and thoughts that other moms know more than you do</p> </li> </ul></td> <td style="background-color:#FFE5E5"> <ul><li> <p>Avoiding going out to places where other moms are because of worries that they will think that you shouldn’t be a mother</p> </li> <li> <p>Regularly assuming that others are thinking poorly of you and that you do not meet their standards</p> </li> <li> <p>Not asking for help in order to not appear incapable, even when you feel exhausted trying to do everything on your own</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr></tbody></table><p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="extrahelp" id="extrahelp"></a>Extra help for specific types of anxiety</h3> <p>Some types of anxiety need additional, more specific tools to help manage them effectively. We have linked to sections of the <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/learn-about-anxiety/anxiety-in-adults/">Adult Self-Help</a> section of AnxietyBC’s website for these extra tools.</p> <h5>Panic attacks</h5> <p>Some new moms fear having panic attacks. They may begin to avoid doing things or going places that may bring on a panic attack or panic attack-like symptoms, such as:</p> <ul><li> <p>certain places that remind her of a past panic attack</p> </li> <li> <p>places that would be difficult to escape from should she start to feel panicky (such as the mall or public transit)</p> </li> <li> <p>activities that bring on similar physical sensations of panic, like increased breathing or heart rate</p> </li> </ul><p>Sometimes this anxiety is so intense that she barely wants to leave the house. See the Panic Disorder page to find out more and learn how to manage it.</p> <h6>Quick facts about panic attacks</h6> <ul><li> <p>Panic attacks are not harmful or dangerous, although they can feel very scary.</p> </li> <li> <p>You might feel like you are dying or going crazy, but you are not.</p> </li> <li> <p>Panic attacks are brief, although they sometimes feel like they go on forever.</p> </li> <li> <p>Panic attacks are private experiences. Others (except those very close to you) usually cannot tell that you are having a panic attack.</p> </li> </ul><h5>Obsessive compulsive behaviours</h5> <p>Other moms are more focused on very distressing or anxiety-provoking thoughts that seem to keep intruding into their minds, over and over. For example, she may have disturbing images of cutting up her baby, drowning her baby, her baby getting some rare contagious disease, or even some stranger kidnapping her baby. She may also imagine that everything is covered in toxic and dangerous germs.</p> <p>Certain compulsions or rituals may develop as a way to deal with these distressing thoughts, such as:</p> <ul><li> <p>avoiding certain objects or situations</p> </li> <li> <p>repeating prayers or phrases in the head to keep thoughts away or “protect the baby”</p> </li> <li> <p>obsessively cleaning or arranging things until it "feels right"</p> </li> <li> <p>repeatedly checking things over and over "just in case"</p> </li> </ul><p>Many new moms (like <a href="#jennifer">Jennifer</a>) suffer in silence and feel embarrassed or guilty for having such thoughts and urges. Having these obsessions does not mean that we are crazy, dangerous, or evil deep down inside! Our safety (and the safety of our loved ones) is determined by our actions, NOT our thoughts. Intrusive, unwanted, or even disturbing thoughts are common; everyone experiences them from time to time.</p> <p>To find out more about obsessions and compulsions (and OCD), see the <a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/obsessive-compulsive-disorder">Obsessive Compulsive Disorder page</a>.</p> <div class="divider"> </div> <h5>The difference between postpartum OCD and postpartum psychosis</h5> <p>Postpartum OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) is distinctly different from postpartum psychosis. In postpartum psychosis, the new mom has lost touch with reality and may be experiencing delusions and faulty beliefs, and may be in danger of harming the baby. For example, she may think her baby is possessed by a demon. She may hear voices and/or see things that others don't see. Postpartum psychosis is a very serious problem. If you have any concerns about yourself or someone you know, please seek professional help.</p> <p>On the other hand, women who are experiencing postpartum OCD have not lost contact with reality. OCD is an anxiety disorder. Women who are suffering from postpartum OCD are often highly distressed and disturbed by their intrusive thoughts, and they behave in ways to diminish or "neutralize" their thoughts. They are so afraid that their thoughts will come true. This is not the case for women suffering from postpartum psychosis, who can't separate what they are thinking from reality and may take steps towards acting on their thoughts.</p> <p>For more information, read the article “Beyond the Blues” from the <a href="http://iocdf.org">International OCD Foundation</a>.</p> <div class="divider"> </div> <h5>Generalized anxiety</h5> <p>Other moms (like <a href="#salima">Salima</a>) may start to experience excessive and uncontrollable worries. As a result, they may feel constantly keyed up and on edge, have excessive doubts, and have difficulty “shutting off” the mind, particularly before sleep. She may worry about things like the health and safety of her baby and her abilities as a mom.</p> <p>Find out more <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/tool-2-the-truth-about-worry-new-moms/">ways to manage worries</a>.</p> <p>If you think your anxiety is excessive and uncontrollable worries are really affecting your happiness and peace of mind, see <a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/generalized-anxiety-disorder">Generalized Anxiety Disorder</a> to find out more and learn how to manage it.</p> <h5>Post-traumatic stress</h5> <p>For some women, childbirth can actually be a traumatic experience, as it was for <a href="#ellen">Ellen</a>. Women who have had a history of past traumas (like childhood sexual abuse) can be triggered by the delivery process. As a result, these moms can experience:</p> <ul><li> <p>upsetting and vivid memories, nightmares, and flashbacks of the childbirth</p> </li> <li> <p>feelings of being numb and detached</p> </li> <li> <p>extreme emotional and/or physical reactions when reminded of childbirth (such as starting to cry uncontrollably or becoming suddenly enraged)</p> </li> <li> <p>a desire to avoid things that remind her of birth experience</p> </li> </ul><p>It's important to note that not everyone who experienced a traumatic childbirth will develop these symptoms. Some moms experience some of these symptoms for a few weeks but then recover and are able to generally move on. It’s also important to note that sometimes these symptoms do not show up right away and can develop months or even years later. However, if you feel that you may be suffering from the signs of this anxiety problem, see the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder page to find out more and learn how to manage it.</p> <h5>Social anxiety</h5> <p>Some new moms feel extremely self-conscious around others. They may have difficulty speaking in public and avoid certain places out of fear of perceived judgments and criticism. For example, a new mom may avoid going to a drop-in playgroup because she fears the others with think negative things about her. She may be highly anxious about saying or doing the wrong thing, somehow looking wrong or unacceptable, or worry about other things like blushing or freezing. Because social interactions create so much anxiety and discomfort, she may just decide to stay home and avoid other people when possible.</p> <p>If you feel like you may be experiencing increased social anxiety and it is significantly interfering with your life, see the <a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/social-anxiety-disorder">Social Anxiety Disorder page</a> to find out more and learn how to manage it.</p> <div class="additional-block other-resources"> <p>An untreated anxiety disorder can often put a person at increased risk for future problems with anxiety and depression. If you think your anxiety is significantly interfering with your overall well-being and/or your parenting abilities, discuss it with your maternity care provider or family doctor.</p> </div> <p> </p> <div class="callout about-callout"> <div class="top"> </div> <div class="callout-content"> <h5>About the author</h5> <p><img alt="anxiety canada logo" src="/sites/default/files/anxiety-canada.png" style="margin:5px" /></p> <p>Anxiety Canada promotes awareness of anxiety disorders and increases access to proven resources. Visit <a href="http://anxietycanada.com">www.anxietycanada.com</a>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="divider"> </div> <h5 class="page-links">© 2017 | <a href="#top">Back to top</a> | <a href="/self-help-resources">More info sheets</a></h5> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links--bulma.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> Wed, 26 Jun 2019 03:35:14 +0000 admin_ionline 8492 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca New Moms: Taking care https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/infosheet/new-moms-taking-care <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>New Moms: Taking care</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/account/shainul" lang="" about="/account/shainul" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">admin_ionline</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 06/25/2019 - 20:35</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--infosheet.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div><p>  <a name="top" title="top" id="top"></a><a href="/self-help-resources">More Info Sheets</a></p> <p class="author">Author: Anxiety Canada</p> <p> </p> <p class="intro">"I want to feel more balanced and more like “myself” again. I find things that help my anxiety for a while, but I seem to get overwhelmed so easily."</p> <table border="0" class="related_content"><tbody><tr><td> <h4>Tools for self-care:</h4> <ol><li><a href="#tool1">The importance of self-care</a></li> <li><a href="#tool2">Setting yourself as a priority</a></li> <li><a href="#tool3">Healthy eating</a></li> <li><a href="#tool4">Exercise</a></li> <li><a href="#tool5">Engaging in life</a></li> <li><a href="#tool6">Relaxation</a></li> <li><a href="#tool7">Mindfulness</a></li> <li><a href="#tool8">Sleep</a></li> <li><a href="#remember">Things to remember</a></li> </ol></td> </tr></tbody></table><p>Luckily, there are many things you can do to feel more resilient and able to cope, even over the long term. The key is to build a tool kit of multiple strategies. The tricky part is that some of the most valuable strategies might actually increase distress in the short term (see <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/FacingFears_Exposure.pdf">Facing Fears</a>), but are essential for making us feel better over time.</p> <h3><a name="tool1" id="tool1"></a>Tool 1: The importance of self-care</h3> <p>An important anxiety-management strategy is to take care of the basics. Think of it as making sure your tank stays closer to “full” so you have more energy and focus to take care of your mental health. Read on for information and practical tips.</p> <h5>Taking care of yourself is an important step for managing anxiety</h5> <p>We all know that we need to aim for a healthy balanced diet and regular exercise to maintain our physical health. It’s easy to forget that these steps are ALSO important for our mental health and well-being. If you struggle with high anxiety, it’s especially important to make self-care a priority in your life. This can include:</p> <ul><li> <p>soothing activities (e.g., massages, bath)</p> </li> <li> <p>relaxation</p> </li> <li> <p>getting adequate sleep (or as much as possible!)</p> </li> <li> <p>spending time with friends and family</p> </li> <li> <p>making time for pleasurable activities (what do YOU like to do?)</p> </li> </ul><h5>I do take care of myself but I still feel anxious</h5> <p>Sometimes we haven’t been taking care of ourselves long enough to see a difference yet. Or sometime we are focused on one area of self-care and not enough on other areas (e.g., eating well but not seeing our friends). We are periodically "filling up" our tank, but still running too close to empty. Also, self-care strategies alone might not be enough to reduce our anxiety. They can still be really useful, however, as they can give us the energy to make other fundamental changes in our lives. Please browse through the website to learn more about other strategies you can use to change the way you feel and experience the world (<a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/parents/new-moms/feeling-anxious/recognizing-post-partum-anxiety">What Is Anxiety?</a>; <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/thinking-flexibly/">Healthy and Flexible Thinking</a>; <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/FacingFears_Exposure.pdf">Facing Fears</a>).</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool2" id="tool2"></a>Tool 2: Setting myself as a priority</h3> <p>Let's admit it—with a new baby, sometimes it seems like getting out of our housecoat is too much work. With all of the challenges of being a new mom, "self-care" might seem like an impossible demand. We are so busy looking after the baby, and perhaps several other people in our lives, that we neglect ourselves. And although we are doing something very important, we run the risk of burning out.</p> <p>So although it is wonderful to help others, we won't be able to do so if we don't first look after ourselves. Remember what flight attendants always say: "You need to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help anyone else." Being a mom takes a lot of energy, and we need to remember to also nourish ourselves.</p> <h5>Looking after the baby is taking all of my energy. I don’t have time to take care of myself!</h5> <p>Some days are going to be especially challenging: the baby is sick, the washing machine breaks, our older child suddenly "remembers" an assignment that is due today. We have so many balls in the air, we don't even notice that we are not attending to our own basic needs very well. The important thing is that over time we do what we can to look after ourselves. Self-care doesn't need to involve a huge change or lots of time. It can be something easy to do. For example, we can decide to eat a sandwich or take a well-deserved nap instead of running around cleaning when the baby is asleep. These small acts of self-care throughout the day help us stay mentally balanced and energized—so we can keep doing all the important things in our lives.</p> <p>For more ideas, <a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/parents/new-moms/thinking-flexibly/treat-yourself-kindly">Treat Yourself Kindly</a>.</p> <h5>I find it difficult to ask for help</h5> <p>With a new baby, sometimes we need extra help. It's very important to ask for what we need and receive support during this time. In many places in the world, a new mom would be helped by an army of supporters. As many of us are on our own, we may need to be creative about getting extra help (such as asking a friend to pick up some groceries, arranging child care during exercise classes, switching off with another mom, sharing a babysitter, or hiring a high school student to help out).</p> <p>And as if we were not busy enough with our new baby, sometimes we say "yes" to other people's requests for help and we are left with very little time for ourselves. It can be hard to say no, and we may not be sure how others may react. But we have to weigh this against knowing how we will feel if we are overwhelmed and not taking care of ourselves.</p> <p>For tips on assertiveness, see <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/self-help/effective-communication-improving-your-social-skills">Effective Communication</a>.</p> <p>More information on how to say "no" and other assertiveness techniques is also available at the Centre for Clinical Interventions' <a href="http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Assertiveness">Assert Yourself</a>.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool3" id="tool3"></a>Tool 3: Healthy eating</h3> <h5>How does healthy eating help me manage my anxiety?</h5> <p>Motherhood is so consuming, we can forget to eat until we are extremely hungry.</p> <p>Not only will this low blood sugar make us more cranky and irritable, it can also increase anxiety levels. Eating small meals throughout the day stabilizes our blood sugar and helps us concentrate and think more clearly.</p> <p>To ensure you're eating regularly, try to eat by the clock (scheduling in meals and snacks), rather than waiting until you notice the symptoms of not eating.</p> <p>When we eat irregularly or skip meals, our blood sugar will be less consistent and more likely to dip. This can cause many different symptoms, many of which overlap with anxiety:</p> <ul><li> <p>fatigue</p> </li> <li> <p>hunger</p> </li> <li> <p>irritability</p> </li> <li> <p>lightheadedness</p> </li> <li> <p>mental cloudiness</p> </li> <li> <p>nervousness</p> </li> <li> <p>shakiness</p> </li> <li> <p>sweating</p> </li> </ul><h5>Being a new mom may add some extra challenges to eating well</h5> <p>It is hard to think of regular, balanced eating when even getting dressed in the morning might be a challenge. Give yourself a break and just make it easy.</p> <ul><li> <p>Have prepared meals on hand.</p> </li> <li> <p>Stock up on lots of easy to eat food.</p> </li> <li> <p>Order in.</p> </li> <li> <p>Say "yes" when anyone offers to cook for you.</p> </li> </ul><p>Food on the go ideas for the busy mom:</p> <ul><li> <p>meal replacement bars and drinks</p> </li> <li> <p>easy veggies (baby carrots, precut packages)</p> </li> <li> <p>trail mix</p> </li> <li> <p>granola bars</p> </li> <li> <p>easy to carry fruit (bananas, apples)</p> </li> <li> <p>fruit cups or other packaged snacks</p> </li> <li> <p>wraps</p> </li> <li> <p>shakes (add some protein powder)</p> </li> </ul><p>You might be eating out of a can over the kitchen sink, but the important thing is that you are providing your body with needed fuel!</p> <p>A resource for ideas for healthy eating is the Dietitian Services at HealthlinkBC: visit <a href="http://www.healthlinkbc.ca/healthy-eating">Healthy Eating</a> for information and to email a dietitian.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool4" id="tool4"></a>Tool 4: Exercise</h3> <h5>Exercise can improve our mental health</h5> <p>Research shows that exercise has a positive impact on mood: exercisers often report less anxiety, and exercise can help improve feelings of mild to moderate depression. Physical activity can also regulating stress hormones and decrease overall stress levels. (Note: Your health care provider can help you choose appropriate exercise ideas.)</p> <p>One way our body gets rid of extra stress hormones is through our tears and our sweat. Sometimes a good cry or sweaty exertion is just what we need to get back in balance.</p> <h5>It is hard to exercise when I need to care for a baby</h5> <p>Luckily, to get this positive impact on our mood, we don't have to do high-intensity exercise. It is actually more effective to stay within our comfort zone and slowly increase our activity levels. Anything active counts. Take advantage of Baby and Me exercise classes or yoga, use child-minding services at the gym, or trade off with another mom.</p> <p><em>"Walking is man’s best medicine. —Hippocrates."</em></p> <p>If you are looking for a little extra motivation for getting active, watch <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo">23 and 1/2 hours: What is the single best thing we can do for our health?</a></p> <h5>Ideas for getting your body moving other than the gym</h5> <ul><li> <p>Take the baby out for a stroll. You can experiment with different types of baby carriers/strollers to find a good fit for yourself and your baby.</p> </li> <li> <p>Find a bit of nature to walk in.</p> </li> <li> <p>Hold your baby while doing squats.</p> </li> <li> <p>Get a baby and me exercise or yoga exercise DVD (often available through your library).</p> </li> <li> <p>Find other moms to exercise with.</p> </li> <li> <p>Park a block from an appointment and walk the rest.</p> </li> <li> <p>Dance with your new dance partner (or have a dance party if you have older kids).</p> </li> <li> <p>Do household activities with the baby in a carrier; it is exercising with special weights.</p> </li> <li> <p>Give yourself credit for the extra exercise lugging around a baby and supplies!</p> </li> </ul><p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3>Finding it hard to exercise?</h3> <p>Even when I didn’t have a baby, I found it hard to exercise</p> <p>You are not alone in finding this difficult. Approximately 50% of people who begin an exercise program stop within six months.</p> <p>Although exercise has many positive effects on our mood, you may only experience these benefits after you finish exercising, or in the long term. Let's be honest—some of us do not find the actual exercising enjoyable, so it's hard to feel motivated. Keep reminding yourself that if you keep at it, both your body and your mind will feel better.</p> <h5>Ideas to set yourself up for success</h5> <ul><li> <p>Start with small, realistic goals.</p> </li> <li> <p>Try to find an exercise buddy—people are more likely to exercise when they have a friend or partner to do it with. Do you have a friend with a new baby you can meet?</p> </li> <li> <p>Splurge for a few hours of babysitting and go for a quiet walk.</p> </li> <li> <p>Look for community centre drop-in classes to get you going. Baby and me yoga or exercise classes can be quite social and a good place to meet other moms.</p> </li> </ul><p>For ideas on setting effective goals, see <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/GoalSetting.pdf">Guide for Goal Setting</a>.</p> <h5>Can you exercise too much?</h5> <p>Yes you can. Check with your health care provider before dramatically changing your exercise routine.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool5" id="tool5"></a>Tool 5: Engaging in life</h3> <h5>Spending time with family and friends</h5> <p>Sometimes when we are anxious we tend to isolate ourselves, especially if we want others to see only our best and "happy" side. We can start thinking that we don't have the energy to fake it anymore. Isolating ourselves can give us a bit of relief in the short term, but we are depriving ourselves of one of the most powerful tools for managing stress—spending time with people we care about.</p> <p>It is important not to underestimate how vital it is to spend time with people to whom we feel attached. Research consistently tells us that the support we get from others is one of the strongest predictors of overall well-being. But sometimes we need to push ourselves to reach out to others or let them in. Even a five-minute phone chat can help. You can do quick check-ins with friends while the baby is nursing or taking a bottle. If you are worried it will take too long, start by saying, "I just have five minutes to chat but I really wanted to catch up." You can also meet new friends through baby-oriented group activities (e.g., well baby, parenting, and play groups). Some places to look for these are your community centre, local health unit, or organizations such as Family Place.</p> <p>If fear is getting in the way of being around others, visit <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/FacingFears_Exposure.pdf">Facing Fears</a> for ideas on building confidence.</p> <p>What we want to avoid, however, is asking others for reassurance over and over about our worries. See <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/tool-4-resisting-the-quick-fix/">Resisting the Quick Fix</a> for more details.</p> <p>For our mental health, sometimes the best time to be social is when we "feel" like doing it the least!</p> <h5>Scheduling pleasurable activities</h5> <p>We schedule our to-do lists full of appointments, errands, and tasks. We sometimes forget to schedule in some fun and pampering. Being a new mom is one of the most energy-intensive jobs we will ever have. We need to help recharge our minds and bodies with interesting activities and interactions with others.</p> <p>Plan some activities involving getting out of the house with the baby. Even if this takes extra effort and planning, daylight and sunshine can be great mood lifters. It’s important to still feel part of the world if you are feeling isolated and trapped.</p> <p>We also can have microbreaks within the house. This can be having a nice cup of tea or coffee while watching the baby in the exercise saucer, lying down with the baby under a hanging toy and doing a mini-relaxation, taking a nice bath with the baby, or putting on a favourite piece of music and dancing.</p> <p>It's also nice to have some time away from the baby once in a while. Even very short amounts of time can help. It does not have to be terribly exciting; you can start by curling up with a hot cup of tea when the baby is asleep. When you have someone to give you a small break, go out to do a bit of gardening in the backyard, take a short walk by yourself, or watch a TV show at a friend's house down the street.</p> <p>Microbreaks from being on-duty can make a huge difference and allow us to recharge. It can be particularly helpful sometimes to have a change of scenery, away from parenting triggers. You want to try making some breaks a routine, since if you plan for it, it is more likely to happen. We are so good at scheduling routines for our children, but often forget about the advantages for ourselves.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool6" id="tool6"></a>Tool 6: Relaxation</h3> <p>"People sometimes tell me to "just relax"...but I don’t know how to. Is that really all I have to learn how to do?"</p> <p>Relaxation can help us cope with anxiety, but it will not be enough on its own. Although it would be nice to say "just relax" and have our anxiety magically disappear, it simply doesn’t work that way. Relaxation, however, is a great general stress management strategy and can help keep our body calmer and more resilient over time.</p> <h5>What counts as a true relaxation exercise?</h5> <p>People often count watching TV and other similar activities as relaxation. Although activities like watching TV might be enjoyable, it does not bring about the mental and physical response that makes it count as a relaxation technique. What we want is to bring on the relaxation response, a state of calmness that is the opposite of the stress response.</p> <p>Our stress response is activated when our mind and body are preparing us for a threat. This "fight or flight" response can be lifesaving in emergency situations where we have to act quickly. When you don't need the stress response, relaxation techniques tell your mind and body "the coast is clear"—and that this response is not needed.</p> <p>The relaxation response is not just lying on the couch and channel surfing, but a mentally active process that leaves the body relaxed and the mind calm and focused. Learning relaxation techniques isn’t difficult, but it does take practice. You might even find yourself feeling more anxious when you first try relaxation techniques. At the beginning, schedule a time in your day that will be easiest for you and find a place to practice that is conducive to relaxation, such as in bed before going to sleep or in a comfy chair. Over time, you can practice in more varied locations, such as at your desk during a break or on the bus during your commute to work.</p> <p>There are many different relaxation techniques, so experiment to see which ones work the best for you. Here are two techniques to try:</p> <ul><li> <p><a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/calm-breathing">How to do calm breathing</a></p> </li> <li> <p><a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/MuscleRelaxation.pdf">How to do gradual muscle relaxation</a></p> </li> </ul><p>Additional resources for relaxation techniques:</p> <ul><li> <p><em>The relaxation and stress reduction workbook, fifth edition</em>. 2000. Eshelman, E.R., McKay, M., &amp; Davis, M. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.</p> </li> </ul><p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool7" id="tool7"></a>Tool 7: Mindfulness</h3> <p>"I've heard that mindfulness can help with anxiety. What is mindfulness?"</p> <p>Being mindful means paying attention to the present moment, exactly as it is. It's a lot harder to be anxious if you are completely focused on the present moment (that is, what you are doing and sensing right now). Mindfulness also means paying attention to current experiences, without making judgments or evaluations about them: for example, if you were in front of a tree and were going to look at it mindfully, you could notice how tall it was, that the leaves were lime green, the way the sun sparkles between the leaves, and how the bark on the trunk is rough, rather than evaluating whether the tree is beautiful or ugly.</p> <p>Being in the present moment is very different than what we usually do when we are anxious: live in our heads and think about all the things that could go wrong in the future, or ruminate and dwell on regrets from the past. Our brain is very creative, and can come up with the most amazing worst-case scenarios and the harshest criticisms.</p> <p><em>"Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally." —Jon Kabat-Zinn</em></p> <p><strong>Important</strong>: It is completely normal that your mind will drift when you are trying to be mindful. Imagine a leaf floating on a pond; it will naturally drift. Part of the practice of mindfulness is noticing when your mind is drifting and learning how to gently bring your attention back to the present moment. When you catch yourself being caught up in worries about the future, or guilt or regret about the past, non-judgmentally notice that it is happening and gently guide your attention back. Take a calm breath and focus on what you are doing right now. For more information on letting thoughts be, see <a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/parents/new-moms/thinking-flexibly/roll-anxious-thoughts">R.O.L.L with Anxious Thoughts</a>.</p> <p>We have included some mindfulness exercises that you can try. You can also find audio and video resources on Mindfulness at UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center’s <a href="http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations">Free Meditation Podcasts</a>.</p> <h5>Mindfulness exercises</h5> <h6>Using your senses</h6> <p>A simple mindfulness exercise is to notice what you are experiencing right now through any or all of your five senses: sound, sight, touch, taste, and smell.</p> <p>Take a few slow breaths and ask yourself:</p> <ul><li> <p>What are three things I can hear? (for example, my baby’s breath, the clock on the wall, music in the next room)</p> </li> <li> <p>What are three things I can see? (for example, my baby, a receiving blanket, a red and orange toy)</p> </li> <li> <p>What are three things I can feel? (for example, my baby’s soft skin, the chair under me, the floor under my feet)</p> </li> <li> <p>What are three things that I can smell?(for example, the new baby smell, flowers in the room, the soap on my hands)</p> </li> <li> <p>What are three things I can taste? (for example, my tea, a cracker, smooth cheese)</p> </li> </ul><p>Think of these answers to yourself slowly, one sense at a time. It is impossible to do this exercise and not be mindful in the present moment.</p> <h6>Fully participating in an activity</h6> <p>The next time you go for a walk in the park, practice doing it mindfully.</p> <p>As you are walking, you might find that your mind is creating its usual array of worries. You are pulled into your head and away from experiencing the walk. Trying to push the worries away just seems to make them stronger.</p> <p>Instead of fighting them, acknowledge they are there ("Oh, there's that worry thought again"), let the thoughts be (not suppressing them or trying to fix things in your head), and then consciously bring your focus back to the present moment. You could notice the warm sun on your face and the cool breeze on your cheeks. You could look up and watch the birds flying above you or look down at the plants below you. You could notice the scents of nature in the air and the feel of the earth under your feet.</p> <p>Every time your worries try to pull you away (and this might be every 20 seconds at first), gently let them go and return to being aware of the world around you. This is walking in a mindful way.</p> <p>This is in contrast to how we often do things mindlessly. We may go for a walk, but we are caught up in our thoughts and are not really being aware of our surroundings. Luckily, we can practice being in the moment and develop much richer experiences of life. Any activity can become an opportunity to practice mindfulness: taking a shower, washing dishes, preparing and drinking tea, eating a meal.</p> <h6>Loving kindness</h6> <p>This type of mindfulness is used to help people be kinder to themselves as well as more compassionate to others.</p> <p>Below is a simple script to give you an introduction to this type of mindfulness. Any one of the following sections also can be done separately. More detailed scripts can be easily found, such as UCLA's Mindful Awareness Research Center's <a href="http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations">Free Meditation Podcasts</a>.</p> <ol><li> <p><strong>Contemplate kindness from others</strong>: Gently bring up a memory of a person for whom you already feel warm, tender, and compassionate feelings, such as someone who has been very kind and loving to you in the past (this could be a parent, your child, a close loved one, a pet) or a situation when you felt warm feelings. Focus on this memory and remember feeling warmed by the presence of this person.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Extend warm feelings to yourself</strong>: Place your hand on yourself (such as over your heart or on your belly) and imagine that this is the hand of someone very kind and caring (or being hugged by a loved one or having a beloved dog on your feet). You can feel the warmth flow from your palm to your body. Let your palm rest gently and let the kindness flow from your fingers. You can also speak kindly to yourself, saying something caring to express concern or affection (for example, you can simply say words like "gentle" or "kindness" or express thoughts such as "I know this hurts, but I can do this" or "For this moment, may I find peace").</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Extend warm feelings to the world around you</strong>: Expand your presence and radiate these warm, tender, and compassionate feelings to others; first to a few people you well, then to all your friends and family; then to all people with whom you have a connection, and finally to all people and creatures of the earth.</p> </li> </ol><p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool8" id="tool8"></a>Tool 8: Sleep</h3> <h5>How do I get a good night's sleep?</h5> <p>Motherhood does certainly add challenges for our sleep.</p> <p>Our sleep schedule is, at least temporarily, in very small hands. If this is your first baby, follow the old rule of sleeping while the baby is sleeping. This may mean loosening your standards on such things as housework to make sleep the highest priority. When you have older children, it may be harder to find extra sleep times, but take advantage of opportunities when they come up. Sometimes you can get someone to watch the children, just so you can have a rest.</p> <p>Some ideas that can help you get a better sleep:</p> <ul><li> <p>Don’t spend a lot of time in bed not sleeping. Try to get up before you are feeling very antsy about not sleeping (approximately 20–30 minutes, not watching the clock).</p> </li> <li> <p>Use your bed for sleep or sex, but try to avoid other activities such as watching TV.</p> </li> <li> <p>If you have a partner or close relative, ask him or her to take a shift and be "on call" for a part of the night. Or you can alternate nights so you have a chance to catch up a bit.</p> </li> <li> <p>Sleep in a separate room from your baby for a night (or part of a night) while your partner or close relative is "on call." If you find it hard not to listen for your baby (even when someone else is monitoring), try using earplugs or a white noise machine.</p> </li> <li> <p>If you are breastfeeding, ask someone else to bring you the baby for a feed.</p> </li> <li> <p>If you are bottle feeding, ask someone else to do one of the feeds.</p> </li> <li> <p>Dim the lights at least 30 minutes before you want to sleep. Late-night exposure to the light emitted from TV and computer screens can also interfere with sleep.</p> </li> <li> <p>Deflate the worry about not sleeping. Remind yourself that human beings can function with disrupted sleep. We are biologically built to cope with the impact of a baby on our sleep. For ideas on challenging your worries, see <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/thinking-flexibly/">Tools for Healthy and Flexible Thinking</a>.</p> </li> <li> <p>Develop some coping statements. Instead of worrying about how terrible it is that you aren’t sleeping, try saying things to yourself like, "I will be tired tomorrow but I won't completely fall apart" or "It's not fun but I can still function on a little sleep" or "I'll get through it."</p> </li> <li> <p>Practice a relaxation technique.</p> </li> <li> <p>Avoid caffeine.</p> </li> </ul><p>For more ideas, see <a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/SleepHygiene.pdf">Getting a Good Night’s Sleep (PDF)</a>.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="remember" id="remember"></a>Things to remember</h3> <h5>Self care is all about moderation, balance, and flexibility.</h5> <p>There will be some days when life gets in the way of our good intentions and plans.</p> <p>That's okay. Try to take a long-term perspective and think about what you are doing over the week or month. Start with planning small changes that will be easier to try out and keep going.</p> <ul><li> <p>Nourish your body throughout the day and don’t skip meals.</p> </li> <li> <p>Eat a variety of foods and aim for a balanced diet over the month.</p> </li> <li> <p>Slowly increase your physical activity level.</p> </li> <li> <p>Use exercise as a way to help deal with stress.</p> </li> <li> <p>Spend time with family and friends.</p> </li> <li> <p>Make time for pleasurable and meaningful activities.</p> </li> <li> <p>Practice relaxation.</p> </li> <li> <p>Use a mindfulness exercise.</p> </li> <li> <p>Try sleep promoting strategies.</p> </li> <li> <p>Put energy and focus into healthy behaviours.</p> </li> </ul><p><strong>You don’t have to make big changes to improve your wellness and help you manage your anxiety. The good news about practising self-care is that every little bit counts!</strong></p> <div class="callout about-callout"> <div class="top"> </div> <div class="callout-content"> <h5>About the author</h5> <p><img alt="anxiety canada logo" src="/sites/default/files/anxiety-canada.png" style="margin:5px" /></p> <p>Anxiety Canada promotes awareness of anxiety disorders and increases access to proven resources. Visit <a href="http://anxietycanada.com">www.anxietycanada.com</a>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="divider"> </div> <h5 class="page-links">© 2017 | <a href="#top">Back to top</a> | <a href="/self-help-resources">More info sheets</a></h5> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links--bulma.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> Wed, 26 Jun 2019 03:35:14 +0000 admin_ionline 8491 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca New Moms: Thinking flexibly https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/infosheet/new-moms-thinking-flexibly <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>New Moms: Thinking flexibly</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/account/shainul" lang="" about="/account/shainul" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">admin_ionline</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 06/25/2019 - 20:35</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--infosheet.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div><p>  <a name="top" id="top"></a><a href="/self-help-resources">More Info Sheets</a></p> <p class="author">Author: Anxiety Canada</p> <p> </p> <p class="intro">The responsibility of caring for a new baby can feel tremendous and daunting.</p> <table border="0" class="related_content"><tbody><tr><td> <h4>8 tools for healthy and flexible thinking:</h4> <ol><li><a href="#tool1">Understand the nature of thoughts</a></li> <li><a href="#tool2">The truth about worry</a></li> <li><a href="#tool3">Your anxiety fingerprint</a></li> <li><a href="#tool4">Recognize thinking traps</a></li> <li><a href="#tool5">Consider more helpful thoughts</a></li> <li><a href="#tool6">R.O.L.L with anxious thoughts</a></li> <li><a href="#tool7">Befriend uncertainty</a></li> <li><a href="#tool8">Treat yourself kindly</a></li> </ol></td> </tr></tbody></table><p>Doubts and new fears can creep in and fill you with worries. You may wonder: Why am I having these scary thoughts all the time? Why do I worry so much, even when I know it’s not helping? How can I stop imagining the worst-case scenarios?</p> <p>In this section, we hope to answer these questions. We will also offer you tools to understand how your thoughts can affect your anxiety—and what you can do to feel more in charge.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool1" id="tool1"></a>Tool 1: Understand the nature of thoughts</h3> <p>Our brains are meaning-making machines. We are constantly trying to make sense of the events in our lives. Much of this processing happens outside our conscious awareness. These thoughts that constantly stream in the background are called Automatic Thoughts.</p> <p>Although sometimes we are unaware of these automatic thoughts, they can still have a powerful impact on how we feel, and what we do. Let's see how Annie and Lily's automatic thoughts influenced their reactions to the same situation.</p> <p>Situation: Partner was 20 minutes late in coming home.</p> <table><tbody><tr><td> <p> </p> </td> <td> <h6>Annie</h6> </td> <td> <h6>Lily</h6> <p> </p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Thoughts</strong></p> </td> <td> <p>What if he got into a car accident? He's probably badly hurt, or worse. That's why I can't reach him on the phone!</p> </td> <td> <p>He's probably caught up in traffic. He usually calls to let me know when he's running late, but he probably forgot to charge his phone last night.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Feelings</strong></p> </td> <td> <p>Very anxious, panicky</p> </td> <td> <p>A little concerned, and slightly annoyed</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Body symptoms</strong></p> </td> <td> <p>Racing heart, tightening chest, breathing faster</p> </td> <td> <p>Stomach slightly tense</p> </td> </tr></tbody></table><p><strong>Annie</strong> felt anxious and panicky. She repeatedly called her partner's cell phone, listened for ambulance sirens, and looked out the window. She also called her mother for reassurance.</p> <p><strong>Lily</strong> felt a little concerned and slightly annoyed. She decided to carry on with what she was doing while listening for the door.</p> <p><strong>Actual outcome</strong>: Both of their partners arrived home safely shortly after and explained that traffic was bad and the phone's battery was depleted.</p> <p>Annie and Lily reacted to the same situation very differently because of the different meanings they had given to the situation. Both of their reactions made complete sense given what they were telling themselves. Annie's scary interpretation increased her anxiety and led her to behave anxiously, while Lily's calmer and more probable interpretation did not increase her anxiety much and she was less distracted.</p> <p>These examples demonstrate that our thoughts do not have to be true to impact how we feel. Our thoughts can have a strong effect even when they are unrealistic and extreme. Thoughts can feel true, even if they are actually not a true reflection of reality.</p> <div class="additional-block other-resources"> <p>Just because a thought feels true doesn’t make it true. Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are not facts.</p> </div> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool2" id="tool2"></a>Tool 2: The truth about worry</h3> <p>Everyone worries from time to time, and many people consider themselves worriers.</p> <p>Worries are usually a "what if" question about something bad happening in the immediate or distant future. These anticipated bad outcomes can sometimes come true, but are often quite unlikely to happen.</p> <p>Although we might wish it wasn't so, the fact of life is that there is no such thing as worry-free parenting. It is natural to have some worries about your baby and your future. Many parents find that they continue to worry about their children even when their children are old enough to have children of their own!</p> <h5>If you are a first-time mom or mom-to-be, parenthood can seem particularly intimidating.</h5> <p>After all, there seems to be so much you don't know and endless possibilities of things that might go wrong:</p> <ul><li> <p>What if my marriage doesn't survive?</p> </li> <li> <p>What if I'm not a good mother?</p> </li> <li> <p>What if I can't make enough milk?</p> </li> <li> <p>What if my baby has a serious birth defect or gets really sick?</p> </li> </ul><p>Even if this is your second or third time being pregnant, you may still worry about things:</p> <ul><li> <p>What if this birth doesn't go as smoothly as the last one?</p> </li> <li> <p>What if I don’t love all my children equally?</p> </li> <li> <p>What if I can’t handle taking care of one more child?</p> </li> </ul><h5>All of these worries are understandable.</h5> <p>Most of the time, worries aren’t much of an issue, especially when they seem under control and don’t cause too much distress or interfere with daily life.</p> <p>However, worries become a bigger problem when they happen almost every day and seem excessive and uncontrollable. Constant and excessive worrying is not only exhausting, but it can also damage relationships and lead to many unhelpful behaviours that get in the way of daily life (for example, excessive checking, asking for repeated reassurance from others).</p> <p>If you find you worry more than people around you, regularly jump to the worst-case scenario about many things, and find it hard to stop, then you may have <a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/generalized-anxiety-disorder">generalized anxiety disorder</a>. You might want to talk to your health care provider and possibly seek some professional help.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3>Benefits of worry?</h3> <p>Is there a part of you that believes your worries serve a good purpose, despite the time and energy it takes out of your day?</p> <p>When we think on some level that worrying is helping, we tend to worry more.</p> <p>The following are some common ways that people think worry is beneficial:</p> <p><strong>Worrying shows I am a caring person.</strong></p> <p>If you believe this, you might think, "I worry about my family because I love and care about them" or "People know me as the worrier; I'm the one who worries and cares for people."</p> <p><strong>Worrying helps me to solve problems.</strong></p> <p>Examples of this belief include: "If something is wrong, I need to think about it a lot so I can fix it" and "When I worry about my problems, I am more likely to solve them."</p> <p><strong>Worrying motivates me.</strong></p> <p>If you believe this, then you might say to yourself, "Worrying about being a good mother motivates me to read more parenting books" or "If I didn't worry about how I look, I would never go to the gym and become a lazy slob!"</p> <p><strong>Worrying protects me from feeling bad later.</strong></p> <p>If you believe this, then you probably think worrying better prepares you for catastrophes. Like if you worry about bad things now, you won't be so upset if the bad thing actually happens. An example of this type of belief: "If something bad happens to my family and I didn't worry about it beforehand, it would come as total shock and I wouldn't be able to handle it."</p> <p><strong>Worrying prevents bad things from happening.</strong></p> <p>If you have this belief, you might think, "I am less likely to do things a bad mother would do because I worry so much about being a bad mother."</p> <p>If you identified with one or more of these beliefs, you likely believe that worrying is useful to you in some way. This might come as a surprise, even causing you to ask, "How is this possible? I hate lying awake worrying!"</p> <p>Sometimes our beliefs can be buried, hidden even from ourselves. One way to tell whether we believe in something is to carefully observe how we act. Our beliefs and behaviours are closely related (see <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/tool-3-your-anxiety-fingerprint/" name="tool3" id="tool3">Tool 3: Your Anxiety Fingerprint</a>).</p> <p>You can see how you can easily get caught in a self-fulfilling prophecy: what we believe influences how we act, and how we act can reinforce what we believe.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3>Has worrying really been helpful to you?</h3> <h5>Rethink the usefulness of worrying</h5> <p><em>"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength." —Corrie ten Boom</em></p> <p>Whether you have known all along that you believe worrying is useful, or just learned that you do, it is worthwhile to think carefully about whether your worries are really helping you in the ways that you think they are. Here are some questions that you can ask yourself:</p> <table><tbody><tr><td> <p><strong>Belief</strong></p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Questions to help you rethink your beliefs</strong></p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Worrying shows I am a caring person.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Do I know caring people who don't worry as much as I do?</p> </li> <li> <p>What else besides worrying shows that I care?</p> </li> <li> <p>If I care about something, what actions can I take to show this instead of worrying?</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Worrying helps me to solve problems.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Am I spinning my wheels by going over my problem again and again by worrying, or am I actually doing something to solve it? (For example, worrying about not knowing how to handle a newborn versus reading helpful books or attending a baby care class.)</p> </li> <li> <p>Do I know people who are organized and prepared but don’t worry as much as I do?</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Worrying motivates me.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Am I confusing worrying with actually doing something about my problem?</p> </li> <li> <p>Am I really more motivated when I worry?</p> </li> <li> <p>Does my worrying get me so anxious, I actually get very little done?</p> </li> <li> <p>Has worrying ever prevented me from doing the things I actually want or need to do?</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Worrying protects me from feeling bad later.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>If something bad did happen, would worrying really help me be less upset?</p> </li> <li> <p>When something bad has happened in my life, was I really more prepared to deal with it because I worried about it beforehand?</p> </li> <li> <p>How does worrying make me feel? How upset am I feeling now because I am worrying?</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Worrying prevents bad things from happening.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Has anything bad ever happened in my life even though I worried about it?</p> </li> <li> <p>Can I test how much worrying prevents bad things from happening by worrying one day and then NOT worrying the next day, and seeing what actually happens on those days?</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr></tbody></table><h5>You may also want to ask yourself: What has worrying cost me?</h5> <ul><li> <p>Has worrying affected your relationships? Are people sometimes annoyed with you or concerned about you for worrying so much?</p> </li> <li> <p>How much time, effort, and energy do you spend worrying? Is it worth it?</p> </li> <li> <p>Has worrying affected you physically? Are you tense all the time, often tired, or do you have trouble sleeping because of your worries?</p> </li> <li> <p>What else could you be doing with the time and energy you are spending on having the same worries over and over?</p> </li> </ul><h5>Is it possible to get the same result some other way?</h5> <p>For example, can you be a caring mother and not constantly worry? Can you be organized, prepared, and motivated without worrying all the time?</p> <p>If you are convinced your worries are not helpful then you can learn new skills to manage your worrying. Check out <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/tool-5-managing-worries-building-your-confidence/">Managing Worry</a> for tips on managing excessive worrying.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool3" id="tool3"></a>Tool 3: Your anxiety fingerprint</h3> <h5>Anxiety impacts our bodies, thoughts, and behaviours</h5> <p>This diagram shows how these components relate and interact with each other in a given situation. (For more details, see <a href="http://www.anxietycanada.com/parents/new-moms/feeling-anxious/recognizing-post-partum-anxiety">What is Anxiety?</a>).</p> <p><a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/tool-3-your-anxiety-fingerprint/"><img alt="your anxiety fingerprint" src="/sites/default/files/your-anxiety-fingerprint.jpg" style="height:425px; width:500px" /></a></p> <p>Given the power our thoughts have over our body, emotions, and actions, it seems like a good idea to get to know what we think really well. But how do we catch those speedy, sneaky, often unconscious thoughts? Many people have found keeping a Thought Diary helpful. Tracking and writing down your anxious thoughts might sound like a real pain. Why would you want to record the upsetting and scary stuff going through your head? And, even if you did, when would you find the time to do it?</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3>Your thought diary</h3> <p>Despite the extra effort, many people have found keeping a thought diary very useful. Here are some things people who practiced using the thought diary said:</p> <p>"Once I wrote my thoughts down, they somehow didn't seem as real or powerful anymore. I was able to look at them more objectively and decide whether to believe them. I was actually a bit shocked about what I was telling myself!"</p> <p>"Writing my thoughts down freed up my mental space and helped me ruminate less. It's like I didn’t have to hold on to all the worries in my head anymore."</p> <p>"I was surprised how much it helped me to better understand myself. Before this, I usually didn’t understand where my waves of anxiety were coming from. Even though it was kind of a pain, the thought diary helped me to feel more in charge. It was definitely worth the effort."</p> <p>"Keeping a thought diary was a lot like keeping a personal journal, but in a more structured way. I got to know my patterns better and it gave me ideas about things I could do to change."</p> <p>Would you be willing to give the thought diary a try and find out for yourself whether it would benefit you too? Don't be discouraged if you run into trouble identifying your thoughts or finding time to keep track of them. It isn't easy to start and takes practice. See Troubleshooting for tips to help you out if you get stuck.</p> <h5>A sample entry in Salima’s thought diary</h5> <table><tbody><tr><td> <p><strong>Date/Time</strong></p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Situation</strong></p> <p><em>What happened?</em></p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Thoughts</strong></p> <p><em>What did I say to myself?</em></p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Feeling (0-10)</strong></p> <p><em>What am I feeling emotionally?</em></p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Bodily symptoms</strong></p> <p><em>What am I feeling physically?</em></p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Behaviours</strong></p> <p><em>What did I do to cope?</em></p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Monday afternoon</p> </td> <td> <p>Arman woke up crying after a short 20-minute nap.</p> </td> <td> <p>What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I figure this out? I am just not cut out to be a mother.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Anxious 6/10</p> </li> <li> <p>Sad 5/10</p> </li> <li> <p>Irritated 7/10</p> </li> </ul></td> <td> <p>Feeling pressure in chest and a headache coming on</p> </td> <td> <p>Called mother again for reassurance after settling Arman down</p> </td> </tr></tbody></table><p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3>Troubleshooting</h3> <h5>I really can’t find the time to do a Thought Diary.</h5> <p>Life with a new baby is hectic, and adding one extra thing to do can seem impossible. The key idea behind keeping a thought diary is to practice paying attention to what you are saying to yourself and noticing how this self-talk affects you. You might find it helpful to use a small notebook or your phone to quickly jot down some notes shortly after an upsetting event and then reflect on them later, when you have more time. In addition, even though writing can make this task more effective, simply increasing your mental awareness is also very helpful. Make it a priority and check in with yourself a few times a day. For example, while you are nursing, washing the dishes, or doing laundry, take a moment to notice your thoughts and reflect on them. Brief moments like these can make a big difference.</p> <h5>I'm having a hard time identifying my thoughts.</h5> <p>It can be hard to catch our thoughts because they can pop in at breakneck speed. Very often we feel the impact of our thoughts before we notice thinking them! If you find it hard to spot exactly what you are saying to yourself, this is really common. As with any other skill, you can get better with practice. Give these strategies a try:</p> <p>Be a detective. When you start to feel anxious or physically uncomfortable (e.g., heart racing, stomach clenching, or muscles tightening), ask yourself:</p> <ul><li> <p>What did I imagine or tell myself just now?</p> </li> <li> <p>What am I worried about?</p> </li> <li> <p>What bad thing am I predicting will happen?</p> </li> </ul><p>Separate thoughts from feelings. We may say things like this to ourselves:</p> <ul><li> <p>I feel stupid.</p> </li> <li> <p>I feel like I’m going to mess up my baby.</p> </li> </ul><p>Despite the word "feel," these are actually examples of thoughts rather than feelings. Feelings are emotions and can be described in one word, such as fear, happiness, anger, disgust, surprise, sadness, and joy.</p> <p>Notice different forms of thoughts. They can come in the forms of words or images. Images are as powerful as words at affecting our feelings and behaviours.</p> <p>If you're stuck or unsure, take a guess. It is okay to guess. It might actually provide some clues about what you are telling yourself or imagining. Ask yourself: what would another mom tell herself or imagine if she were reacting the same way?</p> <p>If you tried these strategies and still can't seem to figure out your thoughts, that is okay. Pay attention to what you are doing. As you can see from the <a href="#tool3">Anxiety Fingerprint diagram</a>, thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are all connected.</p> <p>Anxiety generates unhelpful behaviours that keep anxiety going. Checking that the baby is breathing every five minutes can feel better in the moment, but in the long run it can actually make anxiety worse, and keep you feeling distressed and exhausted. Learning to identify and change these behaviours can be even more effective than changing your thinking.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool4" id="tool4"></a>Tool 4: Recognize thinking traps</h3> <p>Of course we feel distressed when upsetting things happen, like when our baby is sick. However, sometimes we can get stuck in a pattern of feeling upset or anxious even when the situation doesn't warrant this reaction anymore. For example, we feel equally cautious and on edge when our baby is healthy, because the baby could get sick again. There is no relief!</p> <p>Below are some common unhelpful thinking styles that keep people "trapped" in distress. We call these "thinking traps."</p> <p>It's common to fall into these traps every now and then for brief periods of time. But if you experience problematic anxiety, you might find yourself falling into these traps frequently and getting stuck in them.</p> <p>Knowing your thinking traps gives you a quick way to know when not to trust what you think. We all do it sometimes, and recognizing when we are using them is an important step for releasing their hold on us. Here are some very common types of thinking traps.</p> <table><tbody><tr><td> <h4>Thinking trap and definition</h4> </td> <td> <h4>Example</h4> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Trap: <strong>Jumping to conclusions</strong></p> <p>We predict what is going to happen, with little or no evidence. This can include thinking that you know what others are thinking (mind reading), without any evidence.</p> </td> <td> <p>I'm not going to the local new mom group because I won't fit in. Talking to other mothers will just highlight how little I know about being a mother.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Trap: <strong>Worst-case scenario</strong></p> <p>We exaggerate how badly something will turn out and how we will be unable to cope.</p> </td> <td> <p>I can't stop comparing my son to other children his age. If I find that he is developing slower, I worry that he'll always be behind and won't be successful in life...and I won't know how to help him.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Trap: <strong>It’s all my fault</strong></p> <p>We take on too much responsibility and believe that if we have any influence over a negative outcome then we are responsible for preventing it.</p> </td> <td> <p>It must have been my fault that I ended up having an emergency C-section. There must have been SOMETHING I could have done to prevent it.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Trap: <strong>Harsh critic</strong></p> <p>We impose harsh rules or labels on ourselves or others about the way we SHOULD behave and/or feel.</p> </td> <td> <p>I SHOULD always be able to soothe my child right away when she is upset. I’m a bad mother for not being able to do so.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Trap: <strong>Black-and-white thinking</strong></p> <p>We think in extreme (or all-or-nothing) terms and view things as either perfect or a complete disaster or failure.</p> </td> <td> <p>My son's birth was a horrible experience and I feel like a failure. I had an epidural even though I planned not to have one.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Trap: <strong>Confusing Thoughts with Actual Probability</strong></p> <p>We believe that thinking about a negative event or action actually increases the likelihood of it happening.</p> </td> <td> <p>I get horrific images of my child catching some disease and being very ill. This is a sign that it's likely to happen and I need to be extra careful about cleanliness.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Trap: <strong>Confusing Thoughts with Actions</strong></p> <p>We believe having the thought about doing something undesirable is the same as actually doing it.</p> </td> <td> <p>Whenever I feel frustrated with my daughter, I get scary thoughts about hurting her. What if these thoughts are trying to warn me that I could snap sometime and actually do it? I try to spend as little alone time with her as I can to make sure that I do not act on my thoughts.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Trap: <strong>If it "feels" true, it must be true</strong></p> <p>We use emotional reasoning—using our feelings as evidence that our thoughts are really true, even when there is little or no concrete evidence to support them.</p> </td> <td> <p>I feel unsure of myself, therefore I must not know what I'm doing as a mother.</p> </td> </tr></tbody></table><p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool5" id="tool5"></a>Tool 5: Consider more helpful thoughts</h3> <p>There are so many ways our thoughts can trap us in distressing feelings. Luckily we can learn how to get out of these traps.</p> <p>Here are some tips.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Tip 1</strong>: Use the Thought Diary to help you capture your thoughts about situations that come up in your daily life. Once you know what you are thinking, you can start to identify Thinking Traps and begin the process of freeing yourself from them. Find keeping a thought diary challenging? Check out the Troubleshooting tips.</p> <p><strong>Tip 2</strong>: Take a step back and treat your thoughts as opinions you have about situations, rather than facts, even when they feel true. Recognizing thoughts as opinions helps to create some distance between you as an individual and your thoughts, therefore allowing you to look at your thoughts more objectively.</p> <p><strong>Tip 3</strong>: Be curious: observe what you think and consider different perspectives. After all, our thoughts are our perceptions about what’s going on, not necessarily what’s really going on. Consider the possibility that another person could have totally different thoughts about the exact same situation.</p> <p><strong>Tip </strong>Take a moment (e.g., take a few deep breaths, listen to music, light a candle – see Taking Care for more ideas). Thinking differently is hard work, especially when emotions are running high. Some people find gaining new perspectives easier when they give themselves a chance to do something soothing.</p> <p><strong>Tip 5</strong>: Don’t be discouraged if you did not feel much better after trying on the more helpful and balanced thought. The goal is not to have only positive thoughts and feelings. Having negative feelings and thoughts is part of being human. The goal is to learn to consider different perspectives and think flexibly. Increased mental flexibility has many benefits, including being less likely to stay stuck in thinking traps.</p> <h5>Examples of more helpful thinking</h5> <ul><li> <p>Am I ignoring information between the extremes? Are there some "greys" in the situation?</p> </li> </ul><table><tbody><tr><td> <h4>Thinking trap</h4> </td> <td> <h4>Questions to ask yourself</h4> </td> <td> <h4>Realistic thinking</h4> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Jumping to conclusions</strong></p> <p>I'm not going to the local new mom group because I won't fit in. Talking to other mothers will just highlight how little I know about being a mother.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>What evidence do I have to support my thought?</p> </li> <li> <p>Is there any evidence to suggest this might not be the case?</p> </li> </ul></td> <td>I can't really predict what’s going to happen. The first time is usually the hardest. But I don't have any evidence that I definitely won't fit in. It will likely get easier as I attend the group more regularly. If I don't try, I'll never know. <p> </p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Worst-case scenario</strong></p> <p>I can't stop comparing my son to other children his age. If I find that he is developing slower, I worry that he'll always be behind and won’t be successful in life...and I won't know how to help him.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Am I assuming the worst-case scenario?</p> </li> <li> <p>What is the more likely scenario?</p> </li> <li> <p>Is there anything I can do to cope, if something bad did happen?</p> </li> <li> <p>Have I coped with difficult life circumstances before? Am I underestimating my ability to cope with difficulties and challenges</p> </li> </ul></td> <td> <p>I am assuming the worst here. I am not an expert in child development. I don't actually know for sure that my child is slower in his development in comparison to other children his age. Every child develops at his or her own pace. Even if my child is in fact a bit "behind" now doesn't mean he'll remain behind and not succeed in life. Although I can't imagine being able to deal with the worst-case scenario right now, I've always surprised myself about how well I rise up to challenges.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>It's all my fault</strong></p> <p>It must have been my fault that I ended up having an emergency C-section. There must have been SOMETHING I could have done to prevent it.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Am I taking on responsibility for things outside of my control?</p> </li> <li> <p>Have I considered other factors or people that might influence the situation?</p> </li> <li> <p>How much control do I really have over this situation?</p> </li> <li> <p>Am I holding myself responsible for something not entirely within my control?</p> </li> </ul></td> <td> <p>I did the best I could to prepare for the birth, but no one has control over every part of childbirth, not even doctors. I can hold myself responsible for this, but is it helpful? I can't control what happened. The important thing is that both the baby and I are safe and healthy. It's okay that I feel sad and disappointed about it. It is probably more helpful for me to acknowledge how I feel and start focusing on the present.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Harsh critic</strong></p> <p>I SHOULD always be able to soothe my child right away when she is upset. I'm a bad mother for not being able to do so.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Would I talk to someone I care about this way? What might I say to them if they were in a similar situation?</p> </li> <li> <p>Is this way of talking to myself or thinking about others helpful?</p> </li> <li> <p>What would be a more objective or compassionate way of talking to myself or thinking about others?</p> </li> </ul></td> <td> <p>It is unhelpful and unrealistic to expect that I should always be able to soothe my daughter right away. Sometimes she just needs to take her time to express how she feels. I am not a bad mother if she cried longer than I would have liked.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Black-and-white thinking</strong></p> <p>My son's birth was a horrible experience and I feel like a failure. I had an epidural even though I planned not to have one.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Is there a less extreme way of looking at this situation?</p> </li> </ul></td> <td> <p>Although I planned on having a natural, drug-free birthing experience, the epidural was something I really needed to cope with the pain. I know it's important to let my "perfect birth" go. My labour was very long, and most women would have needed assistance with the pain at that point too. I have to remember I was in a completely different mind state then, and there was so much going on.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Confusing Thoughts with actual probability</strong></p> <p>I get horrific images of my child catching some disease and being very ill. This is a sign that it's likely to happen and I need to be extra careful about cleanliness.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>How many times have I thought _____ and how many times has it come true? What evidence do I have?</p> </li> <li> <p>Have I ever thought something bad might happen but it never did? What about something bad that happened but I never thought about it?</p> </li> <li> <p>(When appropriate, try <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/tool-3-anxiety-building-your-confidence/">Anxiety Experiments</a>.)</p> </li> </ul></td> <td> <p>Imagining my baby getting sick is scary, but it's no more likely to come true than images or thoughts that do not make me anxious. My baby is likely to be just as healthy before I started my long cleaning rituals. I can take a small step to test this out. For example, for one week I can wash the crib sheets once every two days, instead of every day, and see what happens.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>Confusing thoughts with actions</strong></p> <p>Whenever I feel frustrated with my daughter, I get scary thoughts about hurting her. What if these thoughts are trying to warn me that I could snap sometime and actually do it? I try to spend as little alone time with her as I can to make sure that I do not act on my thoughts.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Does having a thought equal to action?</p> </li> <li> <p>Am I using a double-standard? If someone I knew well had the same thought, would I hold the same attitude towards that person?</p> </li> <li> <p>If I were the prosecuting attorney and had to convince the court that someone is guilty, how would I do that? Would I need to produce hard evidence or simply argue how guilty I feel the person is?</p> </li> </ul></td> <td> <p>Having these scary thoughts would be upsetting to anyone. But it does not mean that I will actually hurt my daughter or that I do not love her. When I shared these thoughts with a good friend, she was not at all worried that I would act on them. She also did not think less of me as a mother. She told me that she had similar thoughts when her son was young and that these thoughts are common for new</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p><strong>If it feels true, it must be true</strong></p> <p>I feel unsure of myself, therefore I must not know what I'm doing as a mother.</p> </td> <td> <ul><li> <p>Am I using emotions too much as a guide?</p> </li> <li> <p>Am I telling myself that feeling anxious means something really bad is going to happen? Other than the feeling, what evidence do I have?</p> </li> <li> <p>Have I felt anxious about things in the past and nothing bad came out of it? How is this approach working out? Has it helped manage my anxiety?</p> </li> </ul></td> <td> <p>Feeling unsure of myself as a mother doesn't mean I don't know what I am doing. In fact, from my experience talking to other mothers, most feel the same way I do, even the ones I thought looked so competent. I need to remember that motherhood isn't an exact science and there is no one right way to raise a child. Feeling unsure is normal, and probably just means I care.</p> </td> </tr></tbody></table><p>NOTE: While many people have found these tools to un-trap their thinking really useful, some people, particularly those who tend to overanalyze their thoughts, have not always found these tools helpful.</p> <p>Give these above tools a good try for at least two weeks. The more effort you put in, the more likely you will see (and feel!) the results. If you don't find them effective, try Tool 6, <a href="#tool6">R.O.L.L with Anxious Thoughts</a>. You might find learning to let go of your anxiety-provoking thoughts a better fit for the way your mind works.</p> <p>Remember, there is no one size that fits all!</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool6" id="tool6"></a>Tool 6: R.O.L.L with Anxious Thoughts</h3> <p>We all have upsetting thoughts that we wish we didn't have.</p> <p>It's natural to want to control these upsetting thoughts and stop them from coming. We do this in several ways. For example, we tell ourselves to stop thinking about something, or we dismiss our thoughts by saying, "That's silly, I'm being ridiculous." Sometimes we distract ourselves and get busy with something else. Or we tell ourselves positive things to feel better: "It'll all work out for the best."</p> <p>Unfortunately, most people have not found thought-control strategies very helpful. Numerous scientific studies have shown that more we try to get rid of unwanted thoughts, the more these thoughts stick and increase in frequency and intensity. Trying to control a thought is a lot like trying to keep a beach ball underwater. The harder you push it down, the more it resists and wants to come up to the surface!</p> <p>Instead of trying to control, reason with, or react to thoughts, let them enter and leave your mind freely, without engaging them or getting attached to them. Try R.O.L.Ling with your thoughts and simply let them be.</p> <h5>Imagine you suddenly have this anxious thought: "What if I drop my baby?" How do you R.O.L.L with it?</h5> <p><strong>Recognize</strong>: When an anxious thought comes to mind, acknowledge and recognize it for what it is—a thought, nothing more and nothing less.</p> <p>"I am having a thought that I might drop my baby."</p> <p><strong>Observe</strong>: Observe the thought with interest and curiosity. Notice it and its impact on your body and feelings. Just allow it to be, without judging, reacting to, or changing it in any way.</p> <p>"I notice that my thought is predicting the worst. This thought makes me nervous and it's no wonder my stomach feels tense. I notice that I have the urge to get reassurance from my partner, so I can feel better. Instead of reacting to this thought, I'm just going to let it be and sit for a while with these feelings that are coming up..."</p> <p><strong>Let go</strong>: After fully recognizing and observing your thoughts, you can choose to let them go. You might find it helpful to imagine your thoughts as clouds floating in the sky; they float in and eventually change shape or disappear. You can just watch them float past you. Some people like to picture their thoughts as leaves flowing down a gentle stream. They come into your field of view, but if you don’t reach out and pick them out of the stream, they will continue to flow downstream and eventually out of sight.</p> <p>"My thought about dropping the baby is scary. But it is just a thought, nothing more and nothing less. I am going to just watch the thought float by in its own time, eventually passing out of sight."</p> <p>Important: Letting go of your thoughts is not the same as ignoring or pushing your thoughts away. You are recognizing and acknowledging your thoughts for what they are, rather than avoiding them.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool7" id="tool7"></a>Tool 7: Befriend uncertainty</h3> <h5>Uncertainty (not being 100% sure about something) is a big trigger for many people. In the face of uncertainty, we often have thoughts like:</h5> <ul><li> <p>I can't stand not being absolutely sure.</p> </li> <li> <p>I should always look ahead to avoid surprises.</p> </li> <li> <p>I don’t want to decide in case it’s not the right decision.</p> </li> </ul><p>We also do things to try to gain more certainty. We worry, for example, in an effort to figure out all the possible ways things could go wrong so we can be more certain of the outcome. But we know it doesn't work. We still feel anxious because there is no way of knowing exactly how things are going to turn out. There are no guarantees.</p> <h5>We also try to seek more certainty through actions like repeatedly checking things or constantly seeking reassurance from others. For example:</h5> <ul><li> <p>Are you sure we made the right decision on the car seat and it is the best out there?</p> </li> <li> <p>Are you sure you still find me attractive?</p> </li> </ul><p>The problem is almost everything in life is uncertain because no one can predict the future.</p> <p>We can make our lives a lot more enjoyable if we can "befriend" uncertainty, rather than spending more time and energy trying to fight against the inevitable.</p> <p>So how do we get comfortable with uncertainty? Accepting it and building tolerance for it.</p> <h5>Accepting uncertainty</h5> <p>Demanding certainty can be a frustrating experience because we can NEVER do enough to be 100% certain. We need to make peace with the fact that uncertainty is part of life. The strategy of <a href="#tool6">R.O.L.Ling with anxious thoughts</a> could also help you to let go of your need for certainty and accept uncertainty as an unavoidable part of life.</p> <h5>How do we R.O.L.L with uncertainty? Let’s look at an example.</h5> <p><strong>Recognize</strong>: "I notice how much I hate not having a guarantee that my baby will always be safe."</p> <p>Observe: "It’s interesting to notice my need for certainty, a guarantee. This need is making me anxious and agitated. I feel pressure in my chest and I notice a headache coming on. I have the urge to do anything I can to fulfill my need to know so I can stop the discomfort. I'm just going to observe and sit with these feelings for a while..."</p> <p><strong>Let go</strong>: "My need for certainty cannot be satisfied no matter what I do. Being uncertain does not mean things will turn out badly. Uncertainty is part of life and I will accept it. I will let my need for certainty go." (Visualize your need for certainty floating past you like clouds in the sky.)</p> <p>Learning to accept uncertainty will not make our need for certainty disappear, but it will save us time and energy when we let go of trying to control the uncontrollable.</p> <h5>Building tolerance</h5> <p>In addition to accepting uncertainty, another helpful strategy is to practice building your tolerance and comfort level with uncertainty. This means intentionally facing your fear of not knowing, over and over, until it feels less distressing.</p> <p>Check out <a href="https://www.anxietycanada.com/articles/building-your-tolerance-for-uncertainty-act-as-if/">Increase Your Tolerance for Uncertainty</a> for more tips.</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3><a name="tool8" id="tool8"></a>Tool 8: Treat yourself kindly</h3> <h5>Are you too hard on yourself?</h5> <p>Katherine wanted so much to be a good mother. It was the most important thing in the world to her. Because she cared so much, she often beat herself up whenever she thought she should have done something differently.</p> <p>One day, she had a startling insight as she watched her older son being coached in soccer. The coach berated him for missing a pass. Her son stood dejected, tears in his eyes, and then announced later that he didn't want to play anymore. Later that night, she sent the coach an angry email that his approach was not the way to motivate and teach a child. Then she realized, "This is what I am doing to myself!" Perhaps being kinder to herself might actually help her be the kind of mother she wanted to be.</p> <p>Can you identify with Katherine? Do you also talk to yourself like the merciless coach whenever you don’t meet your own expectations? How is this approach working out for you?</p> <h5>Adjust your expectations</h5> <p>Perhaps it's time to reconsider whether being hard on yourself has really been helpful to you. Here are some questions that might shed some light.</p> <p>Are your expectations so high that they are either very hard to meet or unachievable?</p> <ul><li> <p>I should NEVER feel frustrated with my baby.</p> </li> </ul><p>Are your expectations in terms of black and white?</p> <ul><li> <p>A job is not well done if I did not devote all my effort into doing it.</p> </li> <li> <p>My diet is ruined because I ate a piece of cheesecake yesterday.</p> </li> </ul><p>Are your expectations inflexible?</p> <ul><li> <p>I can't leave the house until the bed is made just so.</p> </li> </ul><p>Are you intolerant of failures to meet your expectations?</p> <ul><li> <p>I'm weak and useless for feeling overwhelmed and anxious about motherhood.</p> </li> </ul><p>Do you focus on what you haven't accomplished rather than on what you have accomplished?</p> <ul><li> <p>So what if I didn't find time to cook tonight? I didn't cook the night before, and we ordered pizza.</p> </li> </ul><p>In our experience, people who answered "yes" to most of these questions feel "bullied" by their high expectations. They are also more likely to feel irritable, anxious, depressed, and dissatisfied even after working very hard to meet their expectations. Sometimes they got so stressed about meeting their expectations that they ended up procrastinating or avoiding the tasks all together. Does this sound familiar?</p> <p>If you found that being hard on yourself has cost you and would like to be more self-nurturing, these tips can help you on the path to greater self-compassion:</p> <ol><li> <p>Turn down the volume of that self-critical voice.</p> </li> <li> <p>Notice your successes.</p> </li> <li> <p>Act as if you are worth it.</p> </li> </ol><p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3>Tip 1: Turn down the volume of that self-critical voice</h3> <p>We are usually much harder on ourselves than we would ever be with anyone else.</p> <p>We berate ourselves in the hope of motivating ourselves to do better. But would you ever use these same cruel words to your child? If the answer is "no," why not? And why is it okay for you to speak to yourself that way? Learning to turn down the volume of our self-critical voice begins with the practice of talking to ourselves a little more gently. Here are some examples:</p> <table><tbody><tr><td> <h4>Critical self-talk</h4> </td> <td> <h4>Compassionate self-talk</h4> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>I'm useless. There are so many things I don't know about raising a child.</p> </td> <td> <p><strong>This is normal</strong>. There is so much to know. Parenthood is a constant learning experience. No one has it all figured out.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>I am fully responsible for my baby’s wellbeing. If something goes wrong with the pregnancy, it'll all be my fault.</p> </td> <td> <p><strong>I can only be responsible for what is realistically within my control</strong>. Blaming myself for things outside of my control is not going to help.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>I'm so pathetic for feeling overwhelmed about becoming a parent.</p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Being a parent is not easy</strong>. I'm sure many other parents feel this way. I will focus on what I can do rather than what I can’t.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>Deep down I'm a bad person who shouldn't be a role model to anyone.</p> </td> <td> <p>I need to remember that while I have some weaknesses (and who doesn't?). <strong>I also have a lot of good qualities</strong>. My baby needs a real, loving, and self-compassionate mom, not an imaginary perfect mom.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>I'm so stupid for making that mistake.</p> </td> <td> <p><strong>Everyone makes mistakes</strong>; what counts is what I take away from this experience. Making a mistake does not say anything about my intelligence.</p> </td> </tr><tr><td> <p>I'm worthless. I don't have the right to ask for help.</p> </td> <td> <p><strong>I have as much right to ask for help as the next person</strong>. Given the big changes that are happening in my life, this is a particularly good time to ask for help.</p> </td> </tr></tbody></table><h5>Challenge yourself to "try on" compassionate self-talk</h5> <p>Intentionally speak to yourself compassionately to see whether this approach make a difference in how you think about yourself. Try it several times a day for at least two weeks. You may have been listening to your inner critic for a long time, even years. Maybe ever since you were a young child. It will take some time to adjust to the new ways of talking to yourself and for the more compassionate self-talk to feel familiar.</p> <h5>Supercharge the effect by acting as if you believe these thoughts!</h5> <p>How might you behave differently if you believed your compassionate self-talk? For example, if you believed that it's okay not to know everything about parenting in order to be a good parent, would you spend less time reading parenting books and more time enjoying your baby?</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3>Tip 2: Notice your successes</h3> <p>Research shows that we tend to pay attention to information that confirms what we already believe and filter out information that is inconsistent.</p> <p>We do this mostly on an unconscious level, and it helps make our world seem more predictable. But by doing this we often remember only things that are consistent with what we already believe to be true. This includes our critical beliefs about ourselves.</p> <h5>It's hard to feel good if you only notice the bad things</h5> <p>What does this mean for those who think, "I can't do anything right?" Believing that you "always mess up" has likely created blind spots that prevent you from noticing and remembering the times when you HAVE succeeded. You may also interpret successes as being flukes or "no big deal." Instead, you are constantly looking out for mistakes or signs of failure. You may even harshly berate yourself if you don't meet your own expectations. It's no wonder you have a hard time feeling good about yourself if you keep looking for evidence of how you have messed up and discounting what you have done well.</p> <h5>Learn to pay attention to successes</h5> <p>One strategy that can help is to gradually retrain your brain to pay attention to all the things you do well. For the next week, try to write down all your successes as they occur. Pay attention to any achievements, no matter how small or insignificant they might seem to you at the time. Notice achievements across a broad range of areas of your life, particularly the sort of things you might normally dismiss.</p> <p>Here are some examples:</p> <p>"It was an accomplishment for me to go for a 15-minute walk today even though I wanted to keep working."</p> <p>"I spent the day in and enjoyed time alone with my daughter instead of filling our schedule with play dates because I think we are suppose to be ‘social’ all the time."</p> <p>"I made a simple, healthy dinner tonight."</p> <p>"I resisted the urge to redo the dishes after my partner washed them, even though it made me uncomfortable because I prefer dishes to be done a certain way."</p> <p>"I don’t think anyone can do as good of a job of caring for our baby as I do. But I went out with some friends and gave my sister a chance to look after the baby."</p> <p><a href="#top">Top</a></p> <h3>Tip 3: Act as if you are worth it</h3> <p>When was the last time you did something nice for yourself?</p> <p>A common side effect of not feeling good about yourself is a sense of worthlessness, as though you don’t have the same needs or rights as others and don’t deserve good things. We so easily forget to treat ourselves with as much love and care as we give to our families.</p> <p>How could you overcome the feeling of worthlessness? There are many things you can do, and a good start is acting as if you believe that you are worth it. Do nice things for yourself and practise good self-care.</p> <p>For example:</p> <p>If I was worth it, I would...</p> <ul><li> <p>ask for support when I need it</p> </li> <li> <p>take a nap when I’m tired instead of doing housework</p> </li> <li> <p>take a night off every other week to go out with my friends</p> </li> <li> <p>get a massage</p> </li> <li> <p>buy myself a little treat</p> </li> <li> <p>get my hair done</p> </li> <li> <p>say "no" when the request isn’t reasonable</p> </li> <li> <p>not apologize for things that aren’t my fault</p> </li> </ul><p><strong>The possibilities are endless. What would you do?</strong></p> <p> </p> <div class="callout about-callout"> <div class="top"> </div> <div class="callout-content"> <h5>About the author</h5> <p><img alt="anxiety canada logo" src="/sites/default/files/anxiety-canada.png" style="margin:5px" /></p> <p>Anxiety Canada promotes awareness of anxiety disorders and increases access to proven resources. Visit <a href="http://anxietycanada.com">www.anxietycanada.com</a>.</p> </div> </div> <div class="divider"> </div> <h5 class="page-links">© 2017 | <a href="#top">Back to top</a> | <a href="/self-help-resources">More info sheets</a></h5> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links--bulma.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> Wed, 26 Jun 2019 03:35:14 +0000 admin_ionline 8490 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca Trusting the Unknown https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/rethinking-housing-vol14/trusting-the-unknown <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--story.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Trusting the Unknown</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--story.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/user/132770" lang="" about="/user/132770" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">steph.wilson</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--story.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Tue, 05/28/2019 - 17:20</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'layout__onecol' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x layout--onecol.html.twig x layout--onecol.html.twig * layout.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/layouts/layout_discovery/onecol/layout--onecol.html.twig' --> <div class="layout layout--onecol"> <div class="layout__region layout__region--content"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--extra-field-block--node--story--sharethis.html.twig * block--extra-field-block--node--story.html.twig * block--extra-field-block--node.html.twig * block--extra-field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-extra-field-blocknodestorysharethis clearfix"> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--field-block--node--story--body.html.twig * block--field-block--node--story.html.twig * block--field-block--node.html.twig * block--field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-field-blocknodestorybody clearfix"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--story--default.html.twig * field--node--body--story.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div><h3>From domestic abuse to a home of security, strength and a new beginning</h3> <p class="author">Holly*</p> <h5 class="reference"><a href="/visions/rethinking-housing-vol14"><em>Visions Journal</em></a>, 2019, <em>14</em> (4), pp. 19-22</h5> <p><img alt="stock photo" src="/sites/default/files/visions-vol14-no4-Holly.jpg" /></p> <p><em>"If you limit your choice only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise" – Robert Fritz</em></p> <p>When a marriage breaks down, the emotional upheaval is compounded by practical everyday concerns that suddenly require wholescale rethinking. One of those practical concerns is housing: Where do I go? How do I put a roof over my children's heads? How can I make sure we sleep warm and safe at night?</p> <p>I knew from the very beginning that our marriage would crumble in time, yet I chose to look past his brokenness and love him unconditionally, even through the abuse. Over time that wasn't good enough. Our relationship was built on a sand foundation, not a rock-solid one.</p> <p>This story is not about the abused victim I once was, but about the courageous soul that chose to jump into the unknown and create a new life for herself and her children. Thankfully, the stars aligned. Sometimes it's about being in the right place at the right time, and that is what happened for me.</p> <p>It took some time to work up the courage to leave. In fact, I had begun researching my options long before I actually had enough strength to make the decision. I was even offered a co-op housing placement a year before my son (our second child) was born, but I turned down the opportunity because I was too scared to make the commitment.</p> <p>But over time, the marriage worsened, and the emotional and mental abuse I received from my narcissistic husband ate away at me. I knew I had to end our relationship in order to rebuild my self-confidence and start living a life of self-love and self-worth. Most importantly, I needed to show my children (at the time aged 4 years and 10 months) that their mother is a strong human being, and that any form of abuse is not okay, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional. I wasn’t going to let them continue to witness the nightmare that was my marriage as they grew up.</p> <p>He wasn't physically abusive, but sometimes I wonder if that would have been more straightforward. Our society has a roadmap for dealing with physical hurts—we have medications for pain and our bodies heal over time. But the path for healing from emotional and mental abuse by a loved one isn't as clear. I was constantly put down, criticized, gaslit, body-shamed, manipulated and told I was stupid. Even today, four years down the road, those wounds continue to heal. I have difficulty just writing this article, but I know it’s for the greater good.</p> <p>I discreetly started doing more research—not just about housing options but also about everything that needs to be in place when you are considering leaving a partner. Then I applied for co-ops and BC Housing all over my community, praying that something would come up fast.</p> <p>I'd always felt comfortable with the idea of supportive and cooperative housing alternatives because that's how I grew up. As a single parent, my mother had to rely on BC Housing (low-income housing) to raise me. Low-income housing was what I knew.</p> <p>Of course, I would have liked my kids to grow up in the home they were born in. As a young mother, I had the luxury of living in a beautiful house that my husband had purchased before he met me. Did I question whether I would be able to give my children all they needed as a single mother? Yes, on a daily basis, and I still do to this day. Like all children, my children deserve to grow and develop in a home that is nurturing, loving and safe. Given the circumstances, I knew it was far healthier for us to live in a home free from abuse—one that I could afford on my own—a place where my kids and I could feel safe and secure and grow as a family.</p> <p>My greatest concern about being a single mother was being able to survive financially. I had a good position in my company, and the company supported me 100%, but I still had that fear. After all, I wasn't just taking care of myself; I was taking care of my children, and they are my number-one priority. I worried about being able to provide them with food, shelter, clothes, daycare, education—the list goes on, and the very little child support I received didn't go very far. I live in Richmond, in the Greater Vancouver area, one of the most expensive places to live in the country; I knew my living costs would only go up when I moved out on my own.</p> <p>Particularly because I knew our family would be a single-parent family, I put great pressure on myself to be the best mom I could, all the time. I truly had to let some of that go because I can’t be their everything. It's not a realistic goal, and it wasn't good for my mental health to put that pressure on myself, to always strive for that kind of perfection. No one is perfect; if we are constantly striving for perfection, then all that means is that nothing we do is ever good enough. Striving for perfection kills our soul.</p> <p>One of the greatest lessons I learned in the process of finding a safe home as a single parent was how to receive help, which is never easy. I've always seen myself as a "warrior mama": a mother who can do anything on her own, no matter how challenging it might seem. I am still a warrior at heart, it's in my blood. But it also makes it difficult to accept help, even when I really need it.</p> <p>You know that saying, "It takes a village to raise a child"? Well, I found out quickly—being out on my own and raising my kids pretty much full-time—that it does take a village to raise these little humans. If I could give any words of advice to other single parents searching for a home to raise their kids—besides being kind and gentle to yourself—it's this: let go of your ego and be open to asking for—and receiving—help. Your support system is your lifeline, whether it is your family, your friends, your doctor, a therapist, a mentor, a coach, whoever. Allow them to work with you because you are worth it.</p> <p>Getting into cooperative housing has been such a blessing. I've always told others that a vacancy came at exactly the right time. When my youngest child was about 10 months old, I was offered a unit in a co-op housing community. I knew I had to accept the offer this time. If I didn't, I would be trapped in my abusive marriage, in a constant state of feeling unworthy and worthless. I feared that vicious cycle would continue on through my kids' lives and into the generations to come.</p> <p>That was the deciding factor: Despite all the fears in my head, my heart was telling me, No more! Trusting your heart is a huge part of the process—that, and trusting that things will work out, despite all the unknowns.</p> <p>So, I handed over the deposit and my first rent cheque for our three-bedroom townhome and made the move.</p> <p>Thankfully, the housing cooperative we found is in Richmond, so we got to stay in a familiar environment. A huge part of jumping into a new and scary situation is having community and resources to support you—especially when you are dealing with mental health issues or domestic abuse. My mom, my sister and all my beautiful friends are in Richmond, and my job is here.</p> <p>I really wanted the transition for my kids to be as smooth as it could be. With any decision I made, I had to make sure it wasn't going to be too much for them—especially for my daughter, the eldest. Leaving our home community wasn't an option for us. We could have created a new life in another city, but my kids needed access to their dad, who is also in Richmond. We are also very much rooted in the wonderful community at my children's school. It comforts me to know that I can reach my kids easily at school if there is ever an emergency and that they have the support of their friends and the school administration.</p> <p>Coming to terms with my abusive marriage and finding the self-compassion and strength to leave— and then rebuilding my life—has taken a tremendous toll on my mental health. But facing my health challenges, and learning how to best address them, has been empowering. When I accepted that I struggle with depression, I didn't simply label my mental illness. I actually gave myself a new superpower to help support others and myself on our journey to well-being. It's been healing, to say the least.</p> <p>Leaving an abuser is a life-changing event. You need to have a safe home and a safe and supportive community around you to do it successfully. And above all, you need to not be afraid to ask for help. Looking back, I'm grateful that I honoured the process by making sure to get the right support—from my community, my family, my friends and my medical practitioners. That support is what truly has saved my life.</p> <p>My hope is that reading my story will help others in the same position to find the courage to make a change. In the deepest and darkest times in your life, surround yourself with people who will love and support you. Be brave. Be courageous. Be hopeful. You are absolutely worth it.</p> <p>If you are in any doubt about how rethinking your housing situation might be a path forward to a new life, think of my story. BC Housing has given my family and me the chance to begin a journey of freedom, healing and self-love. That’s all I could ever ask for.</p> <p>On the desk in his office, my psychologist has a coffee mug that says on its side, "Face s**t." It always makes me laugh. I have realized that that it is the best approach in life, including healing the trauma of our past in order to live life freely.</p> <p>Rethink your housing. Face your s**t. Embrace life.</p> <p>*<em>pseudonym</em></p> <div class="callout about-callout"> <div class="top"> </div> <div class="callout-content"> <h5>About the author</h5> <p>Holly is a beautiful mama of two children. She is passionate about conscious parenting and holistic medicine, an advocate for mental health and a lover of connection. Holly is a nature lover who enjoys spending time practising yoga and has a deep love for boxing and kickboxing</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--field-block--node--story--field-story-image.html.twig * block--field-block--node--story.html.twig * block--field-block--node.html.twig * block--field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-field-blocknodestoryfield-story-image clearfix"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-story-image--story--default.html.twig * field--node--field-story-image--story.html.twig * field--node--field-story-image.html.twig * field--node--story.html.twig * field--field-story-image.html.twig * field--image.html.twig x field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> <div> <div> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image_formatter' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'image' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/elements/image.html.twig' --> <figure class="image"> <img loading="lazy" src="/sites/default/files/visions-vol14-no4-Holly.jpg" width="850" height="567" alt="stock photo" typeof="foaf:Image" /> </figure> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/elements/image.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/image-formatter.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/field/field.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/layouts/layout_discovery/onecol/layout--onecol.html.twig' --> Wed, 29 May 2019 00:20:53 +0000 steph.wilson 8441 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca Body Image https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/body-image-vol12 <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--visions-magazine.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--visions-magazine.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Body Image</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--visions-magazine.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--visions-magazine.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/user/132770" lang="" about="/user/132770" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">steph.wilson</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--visions-magazine.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--visions-magazine.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Wed, 05/01/2019 - 17:31</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--comment-node-page--visions-magazine.html.twig * field--node--comment-node-page.html.twig * field--node--visions-magazine.html.twig * field--comment-node-page.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/node/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="comment-section"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/node/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--visions-magazine.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--visions-magazine.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div><p> </p> <p><a href="/sites/default/files/visions-body-image-vol12.pdf">PDF</a> | Vol. 12, No. 1 (2016)</p> <p>What do you think when you picture yourself in your mind or look at yourself in a mirror? It’s almost expected that we find something wrong with ourselves. In fact, many studies find that the people who are very satisfied with the way they look are a small minority. How we feel about the way we look has an enormous impact on self-esteem, behaviours, and mental health. Many writers in the issue discuss the role of the media and social pressures to look a certain way, as well as gender norms, body image, and weight. At times, rejecting thinness as an ideal body shape and celebrating bodies for what they can do is an act of radical, public defiance against unrealistic and unhealthy expectations. At other times, loving how you look may mean quietly embracing your past and present in order to live fully and nurturing your self-esteem. There are many different perspectives and experiences when it comes to body image and many different pressures and expectations, but a common message in this issue rises above: everybody has value and differences should be celebrated.</p> <h4>Background</h4> <ul><li> <p>Editor's Message<br /> (Sarah Hamid-Balma)</p> </li> <li> <p>Love Your Body, Love Yourself<br /> (Laurie Kohl)</p> </li> <li> <p>Body Image, Self-Esteem and Mental Health<br /> (Canadian Mental Health Association, BC Division)</p> </li> </ul><h4>Experiences and Perspectives</h4> <ul><li> <p>Bullying and a Broken Body Image: A service provider perspective<br /> (Michele Gardiner)</p> </li> <li> <p>My Body, My Story: A fat gay man's journey of embodiment<br /> (Frank Colosimo)</p> </li> <li> <p>Of Back Hair and Body Image: My transgender body<br /> (Mary Ann Saunders)</p> </li> <li> <p>Coming Into Your Own Skin: A bipolar take on body image<br /> (Meegan Simpson-Cooke)</p> </li> <li> <p>Purging My Eating Disorder: One man's real-life struggle and recovery<br /> (Tyson Busby)</p> </li> <li> <p>Healthy Relationships with Food and Substances: The Campus Context<br /> (Centre for Addictions Research of BC, Canadian Mental Health Association BC Division and Jessie’s Legacy Program)</p> </li> <li> <p>A Perfect Body in a Perfect World? Anorexia, cultural pressure chasing the ideal body across two continents<br /> (Laura Chapman)</p> </li> <li> <p>I Am Enough: My journey to a life of self-love and positive body image<br /> (Ruby Roxx)</p> </li> </ul><h4>Alternatives and Approaches</h4> <ul><li> <p>Loving Your Body is a Daily Choice: The role art can play<br /> (Chloe Allred)</p> </li> <li> <p>An Invitation to Love Our Bodies, Love Ourselves<br /> (Amy Pezzente)</p> </li> <li> <p>You Are More Than What You Eat: Learning to trust your body to make good food decisions<br /> (Ali Eberhardt)</p> </li> </ul><h4>Resources</h4> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links--bulma.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> Thu, 02 May 2019 00:31:01 +0000 steph.wilson 8215 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca Women https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/women <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--structured-landing-page.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--structured-landing-page.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Women</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--structured-landing-page.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--structured-landing-page.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/account/shainul" lang="" about="/account/shainul" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">admin_ionline</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--structured-landing-page.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--structured-landing-page.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span>Wed, 05/01/2019 - 12:44</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'layout__onecol' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x layout--onecol.html.twig x layout--onecol.html.twig * layout.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/layouts/layout_discovery/onecol/layout--onecol.html.twig' --> <div class="layout layout--onecol"> <div class="layout__region layout__region--content"> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/layouts/layout_discovery/onecol/layout--onecol.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'layout__twocol' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x layout--twocol.html.twig x layout--twocol.html.twig * layout.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/layout/layout--twocol.html.twig' --> <div class="layout layout--twocol container"> <div class="columns"> <div class="layout__region layout__region--top column"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--field-block--node--structured-landing-page--body.html.twig * block--field-block--node--structured-landing-page.html.twig * block--field-block--node.html.twig * block--field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-field-blocknodestructured-landing-pagebody clearfix"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--structured-landing-page--default.html.twig * field--node--body--structured-landing-page.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--structured-landing-page.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div><p>Gender is an important lens to help us understand mental health and substance use problems. Understanding the whole, including social environments and cultural factors, help communities and service providers prevent and better respond to women’s mental health and substance use problems.</p> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <div class="columns"> <div class="layout__region layout__region--first column is-half"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--field-block--node--structured-landing-page--field-content-below-featured-sto.html.twig * block--field-block--node--structured-landing-page.html.twig * block--field-block--node.html.twig * block--field-block.html.twig * block--layout-builder.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="block block-layout-builder block-field-blocknodestructured-landing-pagefield-content-below-featured-sto clearfix"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--field-content-below-featured-sto--structured-landing-page--default.html.twig * field--node--field-content-below-featured-sto--structured-landing-page.html.twig * field--node--field-content-below-featured-sto.html.twig * field--node--structured-landing-page.html.twig x field--field-content-below-featured-sto.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/field/field--field-content-below-featured-sto.html.twig' --> <div class="below-featured"> <div> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * node--8093--teaser.html.twig * node--8093.html.twig * node--page--teaser.html.twig * node--page.html.twig * node--teaser.html.twig x node.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/node/node.html.twig' --> <article data-history-node-id="8093" role="article" about="/visions/opioids-vol13/what-do-trauma-and-gender-have-to-do-with-opioid-use" typeof="schema:WebPage" class="content page teaser clearfix"> <h3> <a href="/visions/opioids-vol13/what-do-trauma-and-gender-have-to-do-with-opioid-use" rel="bookmark"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--page.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">What Do Trauma and Gender Have to Do with Opioid Use?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> </a> </h3> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'rdf_metadata' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/media-library/rdf-metadata.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name" content="What Do Trauma and Gender Have to Do with Opioid Use?" class="hidden"></span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/media-library/rdf-metadata.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'rdf_metadata' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/media-library/rdf-metadata.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:interactionCount" content="UserComments:0" class="hidden"></span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/media-library/rdf-metadata.html.twig' --> <div> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'sharethis_block' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/sharethis/templates/sharethis-block.html.twig' --> <div class="sharethis-wrapper"> <span st_url="https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/opioids-vol13/what-do-trauma-and-gender-have-to-do-with-opioid-use" st_title="What Do Trauma and Gender Have to Do with Opioid Use?" class="st_sharethis_button" displayText="sharethis"></span> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/sharethis/templates/sharethis-block.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--page.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="content"> <div property="schema:text">The majority of women and men with substance use problems report having experienced some form of trauma, and most have experienced multiple traumas. People often report that they use substances to help cope with the stress or negative emotions that result from trauma.</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links--bulma.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> <div class="links inline field is-grouped bulma"><div class="control"> <div> <a href="/visions/opioids-vol13/what-do-trauma-and-gender-have-to-do-with-opioid-use" class="button" rel="tag" title="What Do Trauma and Gender Have to Do with Opioid Use?" hreflang="en">Read more<span class="visually-hidden"> about What Do Trauma and Gender Have to Do with Opioid Use?</span></a> </div> </div></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> </div> </article> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/node/node.html.twig' --> </div> <div> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * node--477--teaser.html.twig * node--477.html.twig * node--infosheet--teaser.html.twig * node--infosheet.html.twig * node--teaser.html.twig x node.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/node/node.html.twig' --> <article data-history-node-id="477" role="article" about="/infosheet/postpartum-depression" class="content infosheet teaser clearfix"> <h3> <a href="/infosheet/postpartum-depression" rel="bookmark"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--infosheet.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span>Postpartum Depression</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> </a> </h3> <div> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--infosheet.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--infosheet.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div class="content"> <div>Postpartum depression is a form of depression that a mother can experience within the first few weeks, months or even up to a year after having a baby. If left untreated, this depression can last for months or even years after the baby is born.</div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links--bulma.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> <div class="links inline field is-grouped bulma"><div class="control"> <div> <a href="/infosheet/postpartum-depression" class="button" rel="tag" title="Postpartum Depression" hreflang="und">Read more<span class="visually-hidden"> about Postpartum Depression</span></a> </div> </div></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> </div> </article> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/node/node.html.twig' --> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/field/field--field-content-below-featured-sto.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="layout__region layout__region--second column is-half"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--views-block--info-sheets-block-1.html.twig * block--views-block.html.twig * block--views.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="views-element-container block block-views block-views-blockinfo-sheets-block-1 clearfix"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'container' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/form/container.html.twig' --> <div> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view.html.twig' --> <div class="js-view-dom-id-e5049f1f43c6f06b0b34b4e756b785f818168e029a0ac4086b05baa8041009af"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_unformatted' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-unformatted.html.twig' --> <div class="views-row"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_fields' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-fields.html.twig' --> <div><h4> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> <a href="/infosheet/cannabis-marijuana-and-psychosis" hreflang="en">Cannabis (Marijuana) and Psychosis</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </h4></div><div><p> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> People at risk for schizophrenia who use cannabis get their first symptoms at a younger age, and… <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </p></div><div class="views-field views-field-view-node"><span class="field-content"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> <a href="/infosheet/cannabis-marijuana-and-psychosis" hreflang="en">Read More</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </span></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-fields.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="views-row"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_fields' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-fields.html.twig' --> <div><h4> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> <a href="/videos-apps" hreflang="en">Videos and Apps We Like</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </h4></div><div><p> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </p></div><div class="views-field views-field-view-node"><span class="field-content"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> <a href="/videos-apps" hreflang="en">Read More</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </span></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-fields.html.twig' --> </div> <div class="views-row"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_fields' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-fields.html.twig' --> <div><h4> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> <a href="/getting-support" hreflang="en">Getting Support and Staying Well</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </h4></div><div><p> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </p></div><div class="views-field views-field-view-node"><span class="field-content"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> <a href="/getting-support" hreflang="en">Read More</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </span></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-fields.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-unformatted.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'container' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * container--more-link--info-sheets--block-1.html.twig * container--more-link--block-1.html.twig * container--more-link--info-sheets--block.html.twig * container--more-link--block.html.twig * container--more-link--info-sheets.html.twig * container--more-link.html.twig x container.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/form/container.html.twig' --> <div class="more-link"><a href="/resource-library/info-sheets">More Info Sheets &gt;</a></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/form/container.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/form/container.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'block' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * block--views-block--visions-articles-block-1.html.twig * block--views-block.html.twig * block--views.html.twig x block.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> <div class="views-element-container block block-views block-views-blockvisions-articles-block-1 clearfix"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'container' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/form/container.html.twig' --> <div> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view.html.twig' --> <div class="js-view-dom-id-69da806a7c962fcd4bc55cf310a84814214befab8c2ea0cfee2799953c844d1d"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_unformatted' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-unformatted.html.twig' --> <div class="views-row"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_fields' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-fields.html.twig' --> <div><h4> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> Visions article: <a href="/visions/supporting-parents-vol17/resources" hreflang="en">Resources</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </h4></div><div class="views-field views-field-body"><div class="field-content"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'views_view_field' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> Reprinted from the Supporting Parents issue of Visions Journal, 2021, 17 (1), p. 31 FamilySmart familysmart.ca FamilySmart supports <a href="/" class="views-more-link">Read more</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-field.html.twig' --> </div></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-fields.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view-unformatted.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'container' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * container--more-link--visions-articles--block-1.html.twig * container--more-link--block-1.html.twig * container--more-link--visions-articles--block.html.twig * container--more-link--block.html.twig * container--more-link--visions-articles.html.twig * container--more-link.html.twig x container.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/form/container.html.twig' --> <div class="more-link"><a href="/resource-library/visions-articles">More Visions Articles &gt;</a></div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/form/container.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/views/views-view.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/form/container.html.twig' --> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/block/block.html.twig' --> </div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/layout/layout--twocol.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'layout__twocol' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: x layout--twocol.html.twig x layout--twocol.html.twig * layout.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/layout/layout--twocol.html.twig' --> <div class="layout layout--twocol container"> <div class="columns"> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/custom/here2help/templates/layout/layout--twocol.html.twig' --> Wed, 01 May 2019 19:44:44 +0000 admin_ionline 8196 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca What Do Trauma and Gender Have to Do with Opioid Use? https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/opioids-vol13/what-do-trauma-and-gender-have-to-do-with-opioid-use <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--title--page.html.twig x field--node--title.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--title.html.twig * field--string.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:name">What Do Trauma and Gender Have to Do with Opioid Use?</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--title.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--uid--page.html.twig x field--node--uid.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--uid.html.twig * field--entity-reference.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <span rel="schema:author"> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'username' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> <a title="View user profile." href="/user/132770" lang="" about="/user/132770" typeof="schema:Person" property="schema:name" datatype="">steph.wilson</a> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/user/username.html.twig' --> </span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--uid.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--created--page.html.twig x field--node--created.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field--created.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <span property="schema:dateCreated" content="2019-04-29T21:36:37+00:00">Mon, 04/29/2019 - 14:36</span> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'core/themes/stable9/templates/field/field--node--created.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'sharethis_block' --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/sharethis/templates/sharethis-block.html.twig' --> <div class="sharethis-wrapper"> <span st_url="https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/visions/opioids-vol13/what-do-trauma-and-gender-have-to-do-with-opioid-use" st_title="What Do Trauma and Gender Have to Do with Opioid Use?" class="st_sharethis_button" displayText="sharethis"></span> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'modules/contrib/sharethis/templates/sharethis-block.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--comment-node-page--page.html.twig * field--node--comment-node-page.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--comment-node-page.html.twig x field--comment.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/node/field--comment.html.twig' --> <section class="comment-section"> </section> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/node/field--comment.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'field' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * field--node--body--page.html.twig * field--node--body.html.twig * field--node--page.html.twig * field--body.html.twig x field--text-with-summary.html.twig * field.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <div property="schema:text" class="content"> <div property="schema:text"><p class="author">Natalie Hemsing, MA, Nancy Poole, PhD, and Lorraine Greaves, PhD</p> <h5 class="reference">Reprinted from the <a href="/visions/opioids-vol13">"Workplace: Disclosure and Accommodations"</a> issue of <em>Visions Journal</em>, 2018, 13 (3), p. 32</h5> <p>The majority of women and men with substance use problems report having experienced some form of trauma, and most have experienced multiple traumas.<sup>1</sup> People often report that they use substances to help cope with the stress or negative emotions that result from trauma. Our work at the Centre of Excellence for Women’s Health (CEWH) suggests that a gendered and trauma-informed approach to responding to opioid use is essential to improving practice and policy to meet the needs of all opioid users.</p> <p>Compared to other substance users, women and men who are addicted to prescription opioids are more likely to report a traumatic event.<sup>2</sup> They also tend to have first experienced trauma at a younger age and are more likely to report a childhood trauma, including childhood abuse or neglect, or to report having witnessed violence.<sup>2</sup> Women and men who have a history of trauma tend to report more severe addiction to opioids, and poorer physical health.<sup>3</sup> Depression, anxiety, self-harm and suicide are also common among women and men who are addicted to opioids (including prescription opioid misuse and illegal opioid use).<sup>4</sup></p> <p>Women and men who are addicted to opioids report different experiences. Among women, the greatest risk for opioid addiction is receiving a prescription for opioid medication.<sup>5</sup> In general, women tend to report experiencing more chronic physical pain, and are more likely to receive a prescription for an opioid painkiller.<sup>6,7</sup> The risk for chronic physical pain is even greater among women who have been victims of violence and abuse.<sup>8</sup> Women may also be more likely to use prescription opioids to manage the effects of trauma. There is some evidence that women are more likely than men to use prescription opioids to cope with negative emotions and pain.<sup>9</sup></p> <p>In contrast, men are more likely to use illegal sources of opioids, and engage in riskier drug use, including using the drug while alone, increasing the amount used and ingesting the opioid in a way other than the drug was intended to be ingested (for example, by crushing and snorting or injecting).<sup>10-13</sup> Men are also more likely to die from an opioid-related overdose (fentanyl in particular).<sup>13</sup> However, trauma is also a risk factor for prescription opioid abuse among men. For example, among young injection drug users, men with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are at the greatest risk for prescription opioid abuse and addiction.<sup>14</sup></p> <p>Both women and men addicted to opioids report complex needs, including the need for mental health, legal, financial and family supports.<sup>15</sup> While women are more likely to be victims of sexual violence, childhood abuse is linked with greater risk for prescription opioid abuse in both women and men.<sup>16,17</sup> Clearly, the evidence suggests that gendered and trauma-informed approaches to early intervention and support are needed to address opioid misuse for both women and men.</p> <h4>How can trauma-informed practice help?</h4> <p>Trauma-informed practice (TIP) is a set of ideas and ways of working with clients that recognizes how important it is to offer safe, non-judgemental services so that people with a history of trauma can access and benefit from available substance use supports and treatment. Trauma-informed approaches do not require that the service provider ask about or discuss the trauma. Instead, trauma-informed approaches are designed to ensure client safety, choice and control in the decisions that impact their substance use. They also provide opportunities for the client to build appropriate coping skills to manage trauma responses.</p> <p>There are four key principles of TIP:</p> <ol><li> <p><strong>Trauma awareness</strong>. TIP involves developing awareness (among both service providers and clients) regarding trauma, the effects and responses to trauma and the links with substance use and other health effects. Basic training of all staff and administrators is key to creating this awareness.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Safety and trust</strong>. Trauma can negatively impact client trust and safety, feelings of self-worth, emotional control and interpersonal relationships.18 Creating an environment that considers the emotional, physical and cultural safety of clients is central to TIP. Such an environment will provide welcoming, friendly reception, calm waiting areas and posters with supportive messages.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Choice, collaboration and connection</strong>. Service providers use an open and non-judgemental communication style, work together with clients and provide options for change and growth. It’s fundamental that clients have choice in how they seek treatment—choice based on safe and healthy relationships with service providers.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Strengths and skills-building</strong>. In TIP, clients are supported to identify and build on their strengths and use healthy coping skills. This may include identifying triggers and practising calming and grounding techniques (for example, breathing, mindfulness and meditation). It also means making change at a pace the client feels comfortable with.</p> </li> </ol><h4>Practical steps towards assessment and early intervention</h4> <p>Trauma-informed approaches involve all levels of staff. Dr. Sandra Bloom describes a trauma-informed agency as a “strong, resilient, structured, tolerant, caring, knowledge-seeking, creative, innovative, cohesive and nonviolent community where staff are thriving, people trust each other to do the right thing, and clients are making progress in their own recovery within the context of a truly safe and connected community.”<sup>19</sup></p> <p>Trauma-informed approaches to assessment and early intervention offer an opportunity to begin support on opioid use with a conversation with the client.</p> <p>Here are some practical approaches to early intervention conversations:<sup>20</sup></p> <ol><li> <p>Ensure the safety of the client in the conversation—asking about trauma is not necessary to provide trauma-informed care.</p> </li> <li> <p>Let clients know that they do not need to provide details of any traumatic event and they do not need to answer questions that make them feel uncomfortable. Let them know they can take a break from the conversation whenever they need to.</p> </li> <li> <p>Ensure that service providers are trained to recognize and respond to signs of re-traumatization, and have the training and knowledge of resources and referrals to support clients who want specific support related to trauma.<sup>21</sup></p> </li> <li> <p>Ensure the client’s privacy and a safe physical environment. For example, ask the client if he or she is comfortable with the door being closed, offer the client water and determine how to make the client most comfortable.</p> </li> <li> <p>Tell the client up front how information from the conversation will be used or shared.</p> </li> <li> <p>Explain why you are asking questions, and regularly check in with the client, listening closely to make sure the client is still comfortable with the pace and subject-matter of the conversation.</p> </li> <li> <p>Attend to signs of a trauma response (e.g., sweating, shaking, a change in breathing) and offer calming or grounding support if it is needed.</p> </li> <li> <p>Ask about the client’s strengths, including the client’s goals and interests, coping mechanisms and available supports.</p> </li> </ol><p>Trauma, gender and equity issues that are central in determining and shaping opioid use need to be addressed in our conversations and in our support strategies for opioid-related treatment programs. At CEWH, we are working on integrating trauma- and gender-informed approaches into Canada’s substance use response system. As one report on trauma-informed approaches sums up, “trauma informed care is as much about social justice as it is about healing.”<sup>22</sup></p> <table border="0" class="related_content"><tbody><tr><td> <h4>Related Resources</h4> <p>Visit <a href="http://bccewh.bc.ca/publications/reportsresources">bccewh.bc.ca</a> for information on</p> <ul><li> <p>women and prescription opioids</p> </li> <li> <p>trauma-informed practice</p> </li> <li> <p>gender-informed resources</p> </li> <li> <p>gender-transformative resources</p> </li> <li> <p>women, girls and prescription medication</p> </li> </ul><p>For additional resources, see the following books and websites:</p> <ul><li> <p>Greaves, L., Poole, N. &amp; Boyle, E. (2015). Transforming addiction: Gender, trauma, transdisciplinarity. New York: Routledge.</p> </li> <li> <p>Greaves, L., Pederson, A. &amp; Poole, N. (Eds.). (2014). Making it better: Gender transformative health promotion. Toronto: Canadian Scholars’ Press.</p> </li> <li> <p>Intersections of Mental Health Perspectives in Addictions Research Training (IMPART): www.addictionsresearchtraining.ca.</p> </li> <li> <p>Poole, N. &amp; Greaves, L. (Eds.) (2012). Becoming trauma informed. Toronto: Centre for Addiction and Mental Health.</p> </li> <li> <p>Promoting Health in Women: <a href="http://www.promotinghealthinwomen.ca">www.promotinghealthinwomen.ca</a>.</p> </li> </ul></td> </tr></tbody></table><div class="callout about-callout"> <div class="top"> </div> <div class="callout-content"> <h5>About the authors</h5> <p>Natalie is a research associate at the Centre of Excellence for Women’s Health (CEWH), in Vancouver, BC, hosted by BC Women’s Hospital and Health Centre, with an extensive background in sex- and gender-based analysis, research on women’s substance use, and systematic reviews and knowledge syntheses on a range of girls’ and women’s health issues</p> <p>Nancy is the Director of the CEWH, leading knowledge translation, network development and research related to improving policy and service provision for girls and women with a range of health issues, including substance use and trauma</p> <p>Lorraine is the founding Executive Director and current Senior Investigator at the CEWH. She is an international expert on women’s substance and tobacco use, gender and health promotion, and the integration of sex and gender in research, program and policy development</p> </div> </div> <div class="footnotes"> <h6>Footnotes:</h6> <ol><li> <p>Hughes, T., McCabe, S.E., Wilsnack, S.C., West, B.T. &amp; Boyd, C.J. (2010). Victimization and substance use disorders in a national sample of heterosexual and sexual minority women and men. <em>Addiction, 105</em>(12), 2130-2140.</p> </li> <li> <p>Lawson, K.M., Back, S.E., Hartwell, K.J., Moran-Santa, M.M. &amp; Brady, K.T. (2013). A comparison of trauma profiles among individuals with prescription opioid, nicotine, or cocaine dependence. <em>American Journal on Addictions, 22</em>(2), 127-131. </p> </li> <li> <p>Danovitch, I. (2016). Post-traumatic stress disorder and opioid use disorder: A narrative review of conceptual models. <em>Journal of Addictive Diseases, 35</em>(3), 169-179. </p> </li> <li> <p>Benningfield, M.M., Arria, A.M., Kaltenbach, K., Heil, S.H., Stine, S.M., Coyle, M.G., Fischer, G., Jones, H.E. &amp; Martin, P.R. (2010). Co‐occurring psychiatric symptoms are associated with increased psychological, social, and medical impairment in opioid dependent pregnant women.<em> American Journal on Addictions, 19</em>(5), 416-421. </p> </li> <li> <p>Hachey, L.M., Gregg, J.A., Pavlik-Maus, T.L. &amp; Jones, J.S. (2017). Health implications and management of women with opioid use disorder. <em>Journal of Nursing Education and Practice, 7</em>(8), 57-62. </p> </li> <li> <p>Bawor, M., Dennis, B.B. Varenbut, M., Daiter, J., March, D.C., Plater, C., Worster, A., Steiner, M., Anglin, R., Pare, G., Desai, D., Thabane, L. &amp; Samaan, Z. (2015). Sex differences in substance use, health, and social functioning among opioid users receiving methadone treatment: A multicenter cohort study. <em>Biology of Sex Differences, 6(</em>1), 21. doi: 10.1186/s13293-015-0038-6.</p> </li> <li> <p>Hemsing, N., Greaves, L., Poole, N. &amp; and Schmidt, R. (2016). Misuse of prescription opioid medication among women: A scoping review. P<em>ain Research and Management</em>. doi: 10.1155/2016/1754195.</p> </li> <li> <p>Peles, E., Seligman, Z., Bloch, M., Potik, D., Sason, A., Schreiber, S. &amp;Adelson, M. (2016). Sexual abuse and its relation to chronic pain among women from a methadone maintenance clinic versus a sexual abuse treatment center. <em>Journal of Psychoactive Drugs, 48</em>(4), 279-287. </p> </li> <li> <p>McHugh, R.K., DeVito, E.E., Dodd, D., Carroll, K.M., Potter, J.S., Greenfield, S.F., Connery, H.S. &amp;Weiss, R.D. (2013). Gender differences in a clinical trial for prescription opioid dependence.<em> Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, 45</em>(1): 38-43.</p> </li> <li> <p>Back, S.E., Payne, R., Waldrop, A.E., Smith, A., Reeves, S. &amp; Brady, K.T. (2009). Prescription opioid aberrant behaviors: A pilot study of gender differences. <em>Clinical Journal of Pain, 25</em>(6), 477-484. </p> </li> <li> <p>Gladstone, E.J., Smolina, K. &amp; Morgan, S.G. (2016). Trends and sex differences in prescription opioid deaths in British Columbia, Canada. <em>Injury Prevention, 22</em>(4), 288-290. </p> </li> <li> <p>Kaplovitch, E., Gomes, T., Camacho, X., Dhalla, I.A., Mamdani, M.N. &amp; Juurlink, D.N. (2015). Sex differences in dose escalation and overdose death during chronic opioid therapy: A population-based cohort study. <em>PLOS ONE 10</em>(8): e0134550. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0134550.</p> </li> <li> <p>BC Coroners Service. (2017).<em> Illicit drug overdose deaths in BC January 1, 2007 to October 31, 2017 </em>(Report). <a href="http://www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/public-safety-and-emergency-services/death-investigation/statistical/illicit-drug.pdf">www2.gov.bc.ca/assets/gov/public-safety-and-emergency-services/death-investigation/statistical/illicit-drug.pdf</a>.</p> </li> <li> <p>Mackesy-Amiti, M.E., Donenberg, G.R. &amp; Ouellet, L.J. (2015). Prescription opioid misuse and mental health among young injection drug users.<em> American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, 41</em>(1), 100-106. </p> </li> <li> <p>Schäfer, I., Gromus, L., Atabaki, A., Pawils, S., Verthein, U., Reimer, J., Schulte, B. &amp; Materns, M. (2014). Are experiences of sexual violence related to special needs in patients with substance use disorders? A study in opioid-dependent patients. <em>Addictive Behaviors, 39</em>(12), 1691-1694.</p> </li> <li> <p>Austin, A.E., Shanahan, M.E. &amp; Zvara, B.J. (2018). Association of childhood abuse and prescription opioid use in early adulthood. <em>Addictive Behaviors, 76</em> (Supplement C), 265-269. doi: 10.1016/j.addbeh.2017.08.033.</p> </li> <li> <p>Quinn, K., Boone, L., Scheidell, J.D., Mateu-Gelabert, P., McGorray, S.P., Beharie, N., Cottler, L.B. &amp; Khan, M.R. (2016). The relationships of childhood trauma and adulthood prescription pain reliever misuse and injection drug use. <em>Drug and Alcohol Dependence, 169, </em>190-198. </p> </li> <li> <p>Canadian Centre on Substance Abuse. (2014).<em> Trauma-informed Care. </em>Ottawa: Author.<a href="http://www.ccsa.ca/Resource%20Library/CCSA-Trauma-informed-Care-Toolkit-2014-en.pdf"> www.ccsa.ca/Resource%20Library/CCSA-Trauma-informed-Care-Toolkit-2014-en.pdf</a> .</p> </li> <li> <p>Bloom, S.L. (n.d..). The sanctuary model. <a href="http://www.sanctuaryweb.com/TheSanctuaryModel.aspx">www.sanctuaryweb.com/TheSanctuaryModel.aspx</a>. </p> </li> <li> <p>British Columbia Centre of Excellence for Women’s Health. (2013). <em>Trauma-informed practice guide.</em> Victoria, BC: British Columbia Centre of Excellence for Women’s Health and Ministry of Health, Government of British Columbia. <a href="http://bccewh.bc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/2013_TIP-Guide.pdf">http://bccewh.bc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/2013_TIP-Guide.pdf</a>.</p> </li> <li> <p>Jean Tweed Centre. (2013). <em>Trauma matters: Guidelines for trauma-informed practices in women’s substance abuse services</em>. Toronto: Author. <a href="http://www.jeantweed.com/wp-content/themes/JTC/pdfs/Trauma%20Matters%20online%20version%20August%202013.pdf">www.jeantweed.com/wp-content/themes/JTC/pdfs/Trauma%20Matters%20online%20version%20August%202013.pdf</a>.</p> </li> <li> <p>Blanch, A. (2012). <em>SAMHSA’s National Center for Trauma-Informed Care: Changing communities, changing lives</em>. <a href="http://www.nasmhpd.org/sites/default/files/NCTIC_Marketing_Brochure_FINAL(2).pdf">www.nasmhpd.org/sites/default/files/NCTIC_Marketing_Brochure_FINAL(2).pdf</a>.</p> </li> </ol></div> </div> </div> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/field/field--text-with-summary.html.twig' --> <!-- THEME DEBUG --> <!-- THEME HOOK: 'links__node' --> <!-- FILE NAME SUGGESTIONS: * links--node.html.twig x links--bulma.html.twig * links.html.twig --> <!-- BEGIN OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> <!-- END OUTPUT from 'themes/contrib/bulma/templates/misc/links--bulma.html.twig' --> Mon, 29 Apr 2019 21:36:37 +0000 steph.wilson 8093 at https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca