On this page: |
Download PDF | Photocopy Friendly | More Wellness Modules | Other Languages
Stressed out?
Having trouble coping?
Feeling overwhelmed?
If your answer is YES, you are not alone. 2 out of every 3 Canadians are coping with moderate to high levels of stress in their daily lives.
Signs of Stress
Are you experiencing signs of stress?
Nervous and "stressed"?
Upset because of something that happened unexpectedly?
Feeling like you can't cope with all the things that you have to do?
Angry because of things that happened that were outside your control?
Thinking about things that you have to accomplish?
Feeling difficulties are piling up so high that you can't overcome them?
Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep?
Trouble concentrating or making decisions?
Regretting decisions you made or didn't make?
Major changes to your appetite or eating patterns?
Frequent urges to use the washroom?
Frequent headaches, upset stomach, or other aches and pains?
Using alcohol or drugs to escape or feel better?
Feeling tired or worn out all the time?
Who is most at risk for high levels of stress?
Women
Single parents
Younger adults
People with lower levels of education
People with lower levels of income
People with poor housing
People who put too much pressure on themselves
People with high levels of responsibilities and duties
Sources of Stress
We tend to feel stressed out when the demands of our daily life feel like too much for us to manage.
Common sources of daily stress:
Pace of life too fast
Phone calls or emails
Too much to do in too little time
Start or end of the work day
Getting ready for work
Other job or work demands
Traffic or commuting
School or homework
No time for fun activities
Finances and bills
Household chores
Feeling tired or fatigued
Home life issues
Personal relationships or family members
Spouse or partner issues
Family problems or responsibilities
Getting children ready or picking them up
Other responsibilities relating to children
Personal health problems
Family member's health problems
Political or government issues
Another common source of stress is major life events or changes. Both positive and negative life events can be stressful - especially those that involve major changes or upheavals to our regular routines.
Common stressful events:
Death of close family or friend
Getting married, divorced or separated
Major change in health or behaviour of family member
Fights or conflict with family or friends
Pregnancy
Outstanding personal achievement
Being in jail or some other institution
Major changes to finances
Planning and taking vacation
Being fired or laid off from job
Retirement
Filing income tax return
Major changes in work duties or changing to new line of work
Starting or finishing school
Major celebrations (e.g., seasonal holidays, birthdays)
Major personal injury or illness
Sexual difficulties
Changes in housing arrangements
Why Does Stress Make me Feel so Awful?
Sometimes stress can have a negative effect on the basic dimensions of health (our thoughts, emotions, behaviours and body reactions). Stress is more likely to have a negative impact on our health if the stress makes us feel threatened or at risk of danger or loss. Stress will also bring down our health if we respond with unhealthy behaviours that do not improve the situation. The negative effects of stress upon our wellness can become a source of stress in and of themselves. Just talk to anyone who is not getting a good night's sleep due to stress and they will know exactly what we mean! For more information about the dimensions of mental health that can be influenced by stress, see Wellness Module 1: Mental Health Matters.
Many Canadians report that stress negatively impacts their lives:
Sleep quality (48%)
Personal health (41%)
Home or family (33%)
Quality of sex life (23%)
Quality of work (23%)
Can Stress be a Good Thing?
Sometimes stress can have a positive effect on the basic dimensions of health (our thoughts, emotions, behaviours and body reactions). Stress is more likely to have a positive impact on our health if we see the stress as a personal challenge, an opportunity for personal growth or something we can strive to overcome. Stress can also lead to positive effects if we respond with healthy behaviours that improve our situation. We can experience the positive effects of stress even in the face of some negative effects.
Many Canadians report that stress positively impacts their lives:
I exercise in response to stress (46%)
Stress is proof I am involved in important things (48%)
Stress improves the quality of my work (31%)
Stress and Illness
Our stress levels can influence our vulnerability to illness and the severity of symptoms. Higher levels of stress can lower our immunity to disease or infection. For example, upper respiratory infections (e.g., colds, influenza) are more likely when we are coping with high levels of stress. There is also evidence that stress can aggravate the symptoms of autoimmune disorders including rheumatoid arthritis, insulin-dependent diabetes, multiple sclerosis and more. The symptoms of mental illness and substance use problems often flare up during times of stress (e.g., anxiety disorders, mood disorders, schizophrenia, and alcohol or drug use). Some of the connections betweens stress and illness are determined by the ways we cope with our stress.
Top
Coping with Stress
There is no "right" or "wrong" way to cope with stress. Research has shown that what works for one person may not work for another, and what works in one stressful situation may not work in another. Listed below are 10 common ways of coping. Click on each one for more information and tips on how to ensure your coping choices lead to reductions in stress and a healthier, more fulfilling life for you and your loved ones.
Harming ourselves, other people, animals or property is never a safe or healthy way of coping with stress. To explore ways of coping that do not involve harm or violence please consider the following options:
Let someone who cares about you know what is happening so they can help keep you and your loved ones safe from harm
Seek professional help immediately (e.g., physician, drop in health clinic, emergency room at local hospital, mental health center, psychiatrist, psychologist or counsellor)
Crisis Lines: See the inside cover of your telephone book for listings in your area or visit www.crisiscentre.bc.ca/distress/index.html
Parenting Support Hotline: Call 1.888.603.9100 (free call anywhere in Canada) or visit www.parenthelpline.ca
Kids' Help Phone: 1.800.668.6868 (free call anywhere in Canada)
1) Focus on what we can do
There is usually something we can do to manage stress in most situations
Resist the urge to give up or run away from stressful problems - these types of coping choices often make stress worse in the long run.
2) Manage our emotions
Feelings of sadness, anger, fear and other forms of distress are common when coping with stress. It is more difficult to feel happiness, contentment or joy when coping with stress.
Try not to bottle your emotions up - instead try expressing your feelings by talking or writing them down
Try not to lash out at other people - yelling or swearing will tend to push people away when we need them the most
Many of the coping strategies listed below are also useful ways of managing our emotions
3) Seek out support
Seeking social support from other people is helpful - especially when we feel we can't cope on our own. Family, friends, co-workers and health professionals can all be important sources of support.
Ask someone for their opinion or advice on how to handle the situation
Get more information to help make decisions
Accept help with daily tasks and responsibilities (e.g., chores, child care)
Get emotional support from someone who understands and cares for us
4) Focus on the positives
This is one of the hardest things to do when coping with stress and at times can seem impossible. Dwelling on the negatives often adds to our stress and takes away our motivation to make things better.
Focus on strengths rather than weaknesses - remind yourself that no one is perfect
Look for the challenges in a situation by asking "What can I learn from this?" or "How can I grow as a person?"
Keep in mind how things could be worse
Try to keep a sense of humour
Remind yourself you are doing the best you can given the circumstances
5) Make a plan of action
Problem-solving the controllable aspects of a stressful situation is one of the most effective ways to lower our stress. Try breaking a stressful problem into manageable chunks. A good plan of action can involve putting other tasks on hold to concentrate on the main problem or waiting for the right time and place to act.
Identify and define the problem
Select your goal
Brainstorm possible solutions
Consider the pros and cons
Choose the best solution - the perfect solution rarely exists
Put your plan into action
Evaluate your efforts and choose another strategy if need be
For more information on problem-solving, see our problem-solving module. You can use our problem-solving worksheet and stress survey to help create your plan of action.
6) Self-Care
None of us will cope well if we do not take care of the basics. Taking good care of ourselves can be difficult during stressful times. If we don't balance work with play, most of us will experience burn out.
Eat healthy foods and drink lots of water throughout the day to maintain your energy
Try to exercise or do something active on a regular basis
Try to avoid using alcohol or drugs as a way of coping
Practice meditation, yoga or other relaxation techniques
Take regular breaks from work to maintain stamina
Plan fun activities and hobbies so you can look forward to them
Get a good night's sleep
7) Take care of our relationships
Family, friends and co-workers can be affected by our stress but they can also be part of the problem! Keep the feelings and needs of others in mind when coping with stress, but balance them with your own feelings and needs.
Be assertive about your needs rather than aggressive or passive
Try not to confront others in a mean-spirited or antagonizing manner
Accept responsibility, apologize or try to put things right when appropriate
Talk to others who are involved and keep them informed about your decisions
8) Religious or Spiritual Practice
People with religious or spiritual practice as part of their daily lives often experience lower levels of distress and other benefits such as helpful social support.
Pray or meditate
Go to your place of worship
Talk to your religious/spiritual leader
Have faith in God or your higher power
Get together with others of the same faith or spiritual orientation
9) Acceptance
Accepting those things we cannot change can be the most challenging aspect of coping with stress. Sometimes all we can do is manage our distress or grief.
Denying the problem exists will only prolong our suffering and interferes with our ability to take action
Acceptance is a process that takes time, so be patient
Death, illness, major losses or major life changes can be particularly difficult to accept
Try not to get caught up in wishful thinking or dwelling on what could have been
10) Distraction
Distraction can be helpful when coping with short-term stress we can't control (e.g., reading a magazine while getting dental work done).
Distraction can be harmful if it interferes with us taking action over things under our control (e.g., watching TV when we have school or work deadlines to meet).
Distraction by using drugs, alcohol or over-eating usually leads to more stress and problems in the long-term.
Distraction by overworking at school or on the job can easily lead to burnout or other problems (e.g., family resentment).
Almost anything can be used as a way of taking our minds off our problems:
Daydreaming
Going for a drive or walk
Leisure activities, exercise, hobbies
Housework, yard work or gardening
Watching TV or movies
Playing video games
Spending time with friends or family
Spending time with pets
Surfing the Internet or doing email
Sleeping or taking a short nap
When used for short periods of time, many of these forms of distraction create opportunities to take a break and refuel - an important part of self-care.
Stress Survey: What Types of Stress are You Coping With?
Problem solving the controllable aspects of a stressful situation is one of the most effective ways to lower our stress. Identifying the problem and breaking it down into manageable chunks is the first step in creating a plan of action.
You can use this survey to help identify the different sources of stress in your life, and to track your progress in coping with them in a healthy way. Check the boxes beside the sentences you feel apply to you, then brainstorm strategies for coping with or solving each problem. See the Coping with Stress section of this wellness module for more information and tips on how to ensure your coping choices lead to reductions in stress and a healthier, more fulfilling life for you and your loved ones. Try taking the survey once a month to track patterns in your behaviour - and the positive and negative ways you manage stress.
General Stress Issues |
You're trying to take on too many things at once |
There is too much pressure on you to be like other people |
Too much is expected of you by others |
You or a loved one have recently achieved a major goal |
Work/School |
You have a lot of conflict with your boss or teacher |
You have a lot of conflict with your co-workers or classmates |
You have experienced major changes in your hours or responsibilities at work |
Someone is always observing or supervising what you do at work or school |
You are often very tired at the end of work or school |
You don't get paid enough for what you do |
Your work or school work is boring and repetitive |
Your current job is a dead-end job with little room for promotion |
You have no control over the pace of work or school |
You want to change jobs or career but don't feel you can |
You are looking for a job and can't find the one you want |
You feel like being a homemaker is not appreciated |
You want to achieve more at work/school but things get in the way |
You or your spouse/partner recently started a new job/school |
You or your spouse/partner recently lost your job or quit school |
You have an unusual amount of work/homework these days |
You or your spouse/partner recently retired |
You or your spouse/partner are changing to a different line of work |
Health |
You or a loved one recently experienced a major injury or health problem |
A long-term illness prevents you from doing things you like to do |
Someone in your family or a close friend has a long-term illness or handicap |
Someone in your family or a loved one has an alcohol or drug problem |
A loved one is in bad health and may die soon |
A loved one recently died or you are still actively grieving a loved one |
You have experienced problems or changes in your eating patterns |
You have experienced problems or changes in your sleeping habits |
You have a disability that makes you feel dependent on others |
Love and Marriage |
You recently became engaged or married |
You recently started living together with your romantic partner |
You recently started a new romantic relationship |
Your relationship restricts your freedom |
You have recently separated or divorced |
You have too little time to talk to your spouse/partner |
Your spouse/partner does not understand you or expects too much of you |
You and your spouse/partner have different social needs |
You don't get what you deserve out of your relationship |
Your spouse/partner doesn't show enough affection |
Your spouse/partner is not committed enough to your relationship |
Your sexual needs are not fulfilled by this relationship |
You are distressed or confused about your sexual orientation |
Your sexual orientation is creating difficulties with family, friends or community |
There are too many changes in your relationship with others |
You are alone too much |
You wonder whether you will ever get married (or get married again) |
Your spouse/partner is always threatening to leave or end the relationship |
You find it is too difficult to find someone compatible with you |
You have a lot of conflict with your spouse/partner or ex-spouse/ex-partner |
You and your spouse/partner recently reconciled after being apart |
Money and Financial Matters |
Your rent or mortgage is too high |
You have a long-term debt or loan |
You don't have enough money to take vacations |
You don't have enough money to fix things |
You are facing bankruptcy or foreclosure on a loan/mortgage |
Substantial decrease or increase in money or income |
A recent windfall (e.g., inheritance, lottery winnings) is causing conflict or major life changes |
Your income is unstable - perhaps due to temporary or contract work, a new business or difficulties getting work |
You don’t have enough money to buy the things you or your kids need |
Social Life and Recreation |
You don't have enough time for a social life |
Your friends are a bad influence |
You have to go to social events alone and you don't want to |
You are about to go on vacation |
You don't have time for your favourite leisure time activities |
A major celebration or get-together is taking place |
Legal & Criminal Matters |
You or a loved one have been detained in jail or prison |
You or a loved one facing minor law violation (speeding ticket, etc) |
You or a loved one are facing major criminal charges |
You are coping with some other form of legal problem or procedure |
You are often afraid you will be attacked or robbed |
You or a loved one is coping with a court case or trial |
Religion/Faith/Spirituality |
Your church/religion/spiritual practice demands too much |
You recently started or stopped attending religious or spiritual activities |
You are not satisfied with your current church, temple, mosque, or synagogue |
Your family or a loved one disagrees with your religious or spiritual views |
You are struggling with a religious or spiritual issue |
Family and Children |
A relative is moving in with you |
You are gaining a new family member via birth or adoption |
You wish you could have children but you cannot |
One of your children seems very unhappy |
One or more children spend too much time away from the house |
You feel your children don't listen to you |
One or more children do not do well enough at school |
One of your children is leaving home |
There have been increases or decreases in the number of family get-togethers |
Your children don't help around the house |
You think you are not a good parent |
There is fighting and conflict among family members |
You are not satisfied with your family |
You are a single parent and it seems like you have to do twice as much |
Residence |
You want to live closer to or further away from your family |
You would like to move but you cannot |
The place you live is too noisy or polluted |
There are high rates of crime in your neighbourhood |
Your family lives too far away |
You recently moved your residence |
Your home is damaged or deteriorating |
You are renovating or remodelling your home |
Adapted from: Holmes and Rahe, 1967; Wheaton, 1997.
Select Sources
Ipsos-Reid. (2002). Canadians and Stress: A Special Report.
Health Canada, Statistics Canada & Canadian Institute for Health Information. (1999). Statistical Report on the Health of Canadians.
Statistics Canada. (2001). Health Indicators: Life Stress.Â
Cohen, S., Kamarck, T., & Mermelstein, R. (1983). A global measure of perceived stress. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 24, 385-396.
You may also be interested in...
Blonna, R. (1999). Coping with Stress in a Changing World (with Letting Go of Stress audiotape). Boston: McGraw Hill.
Prepared by Sarah Newth, PhD, for the Anxiety Disorders Association of BC on behalf of the BC Partners for Mental Health and Addictions Information © 2004
Top