Mental Health

Having trouble coping?

Stressed out?

Feeling overwhelmed?

Focus on what you can do

There is usually something you can do to manage stress in most situations.

• Resist the urge to give up or run away from problems—these coping choices may feel good in the short-term, but often make stress worse in the long run

Manage your emotions

Feelings of sadness, anger or fear are common when coping with stress.

• Try expressing your feelings by talking or writing them down. Bottling up your emotions makes it harder to cope with stress

• Try not to lash out at other people. Yelling or swearing usually pushes people away when you need them the most

• Many of the coping strategies listed below are useful ways of managing your emotions

Seek out support

Seeking social support from other people is helpful—especially when you feel you can't cope on your own. Family, friends, co-workers and health professionals can all be important sources of support.

• Ask someone for their opinion or advice on how to handle the situation

• Get more information to help make decisions

• Accept help with daily tasks and responsibilities, such as chores or child care

• Get emotional support from someone you trust who understands you and cares about you

Focus on helpful and realistic thoughts

This is one of the hardest things to do when coping with stress. At times, it can seem impossible. But, dwelling on the negatives often adds to your stress and takes away your motivation to make things better.

• Focus on strengths rather than weaknesses—remind yourself that no one is perfect; think of times where you have been able to overcome challenges in the past

• Look for the challenges in a situation by asking, "What can I learn from this?" or, "How can I grow as a person?"

• Try to keep things in perspective—is it a hassle or a horror?

• Try to keep a sense of humour

• Remind yourself you are doing the best you can given the circumstances

Make a plan of action

Problem-solving around aspects of a situation that you can control is one of the most effective ways to lower your stress.

Try breaking a stressful problem into manageable chunks.

Think about the best way to approach the problem. You may decide to put other tasks on hold to concentrate on the main problem, or you may decide to wait for the right time and place to act.

• Identify and define the problem

• Determine your goal

• Brainstorm possible solutions

• Consider the pros and cons of each possible solution

• Choose the best solution for you—the perfect solution rarely exists

• Put your plan into action

• Evaluate your efforts and choose another strategy, if needed

See our Wellness Module on problem-solving at www.heretohelp.bc.ca

Self-care

Taking good care of yourself can be difficult during stressful times, but self-care can help you cope with problems more effectively. The trick to self-care is to look for little things you can do everyday to help yourself feel well.

Here are some self-care activities to try. Try to think of other activities that might help!

• Eat healthy foods and drink lots of water throughout the day to maintain your energy

• Try to exercise or do something active on a regular basis

• Try to avoid using alcohol or drugs as a way to cope

• Explore relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation or yoga

• Spend time with family and friends

• Spend time on things you enjoy, such as hobbies or other activities

• Get a good night's sleep

Take care of your relationships

Family, friends and co-workers can be affected by your stress—and they can also be part of the problem.

Be assertive about your needs rather than aggressive or passive. Being assertive means expressing your needs in a respectful way, which allows you to keep your feelings and needs, as well as the feelings and needs of others, in mind.

• Try to discuss your concerns with others in a firm and calm voice

• Consider the other person's point of view—if needed, take some time before responding

• Accept responsibility, apologize or try to put things right when appropriate

• Talk to others who are involved and keep them informed about your decisions

Spirituality

Spirituality takes many forms and means different things to different people. It can vary from culture to culture, with religion being one way that people experience or express spirituality. People who engage in a spiritual practice often experience lower levels of distress. If community is part of a spiritual practice, it may also offer helpful social support.

• Consider spiritual practices that fit with your beliefs, such as prayer, mediation, tai chi, enjoying nature, or creating art

• If you have a formal place of worship, spend time there, or get together with others who share your beliefs

• Talk with a respected member or leader of your spiritual community

Acceptance

There may be times when you can't change something. This can be the most challenging aspect of coping with stress. Acceptance means allowing unpleasant feelings and sensations to surface and come and go without trying to resist or fight them. It allows people to recognize and come to terms with what is out of their control while focusing on the actions they can take to improve their lives. Sometimes, all you can do is manage your distress or grief.

• Acceptance is a process that takes time. You may need to remind yourself to be patient

• Denying that the problem exists may prolong your suffering and interfere with your ability to take action

• Death, illness, major losses or major life changes can be particularly difficult to accept

• Engage in the present moment—try not to get caught up in wishful thinking or dwell on what could have been, but focus on what you are experiencing in the here-and-now

Distraction

Distraction can be helpful when coping with short-term stress you can't control, such as reading a magazine while getting dental work done. Distraction strategies can help you to tolerate distress until it is a more appropriate time to resolve the issue.

Distraction can be harmful if it stops you from taking action on things you can control, such as watching TV when you have school or work deadlines to meet.

Distraction by using drugs, alcohol or over-eating often leads to more stress and problems in the long term.

Distraction by overworking at school or on the job can easily lead to burnout or other problems, like family resentment.

You can do many things to take your mind off problems, such as:

• Daydreaming

• Going for a drive or walk

• Doing something creative

• Leisure activities, exercise, hobbies

• Housework, yard work or gardening

• Watching TV or movies

• Playing video games

• Spending time with friends or family

• Spending time with pets

• Connecting with others on social media

• Sleeping or taking a short nap

When used for short periods of time, many of these forms of distraction create opportunities to take a break and refuel—an important part of self-care.