How my life was measured by language

Kylie Kranabetter

From "The Language We Use" issue of Visions Journal, 2018, 14 (1), p. 17

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Two statements that probably shouldn’t be made

Kelsey Pekarek

Visions Journal, 2018, 14 (1), p. 14

Ashley*

Visions Journal, 2018, 14 (1), p. 11

Wayne liked the excitement of slot machines—the sounds, colours, lights, and the possibility of winning. But gambling quickly became a way to cope with loneliness without drinking, and Wayne felt a lot of shame over the debts he accrued. Through voluntary self-exclusion and counselling, Wayne started to feel more comfortable opening up, and his counsellor helped him see that gambling was connected to his experiences earlier in life. Wayne’s healing really started when he connected with his Indigenous culture and community.

Lynda and her husband shared uncomfortable trips home from gambling trips to Nevada: no money, maxed out credit cards, and a lot of silence. Compulsive gambling left them with no savings and a lot of debt, and one day she and her husband had enough. Learn how Gamblers Anonymous helped them find hope and inspiration and rebuild their financial future.

Jose-Carlos loved immersing himself in the worlds of his favourite games and found that focusing on the fantasy world helped him cope when problems or stress came up, but as his anxiety worsened, he found using games as a distraction didn’t work. Instead, he found a way to practice cognitive-behavioural therapy skills to tackle anxiety in games before trying those skills in the real world. In discovering his strengths in virtual reality, Jose-Carlos found strength and confidence in the real world—and developed a healthier relationships with games.

Heidi and her family had difficulties at times, and gambling was a way for her father to escape and find validation. But the escape brought instability and pain to Heidi and her brother—living in hotels, going without food at times—and eventually Heidi sought foster care so she could have a better life. Heidi looks back on insights she has gained from those experiences and uses that wisdom to embrace acceptance and understanding of her father’s experiences as well as her own journey towards healing.

For Cam, video games were an escape, playing up to 16 hours a day, until he realized that he needed to take care of his mental health. Cam thought that if he was struggling to quit games, there must be other people in the same situation—and he was surprised to find that there were few resources. Seeing a need that wasn’t met, he launched Game Quitters, now the world’s largest community for people who want to overcome problem gaming.

When you live in a small town, everyone knows your reputation. In school, James often found that he was the outcast and viewed as a trouble-maker. Eventually crime and drug use became a way to fit in with a group and find any sort of connection with others. In and out of juvie and then the adult system, he took an opportunity to enter a treatment and recovery program. With his sentence complete this year, James looks forward to bringing the insights he’s discovered with him and continuing his work to build healthy and supportive relationships.

By Grade 8, Tabitha found that drinking and drug use made it a lot easier to fit in, and drugs became part of her life. When her father and then her best friend died of a heroin overdose, Tabitha tried to change her own substance use, but social connections were challenging because drug use was everywhere in her community, and Tabitha found herself drowning in grief…alone. Now sober, she reflects on her path to accept her past, find new connections and reconnect with all parts of her story.